Every ending offers the opportunity for a fresh start. Overcoming divorce was a difficult task as a mother of three kids, but here are five things that I love about being divorced with kids and my new life.
1. My biological clock is no longer ticking.
As a divorced mother of three children, I am relieved to share that my desire for biological babies has been fulfilled! I am still young, spry, and energetic. Now I have the freedom to date knowing that there will not be genetic ties to any of my future partners. There is no baby fever to woo me or to sway my perspective of a man. In my case, there is also NO chance for a "whoopsie".
Hello, dating world! Come to mama!
2. No rush to the alter.
Been there, done that. Those white wedding bells are out of my system. For now.
I am using this time post-divorce to reinvent my image of the ideal relationship. I have been focusing on my communication skills, hobbies, career, and personal goals. I constructed a very detailed list of the qualities that I desire in a man. I know what I want and I know what I will not settle for.
I can choose to peruse the selection of dating profiles online or opt out altogether. A night out on the town or Netflix alone at home? There is no pressure. I am in no rush.
Besides, haste makes waste.
3. I am not afraid of being alone.
When we are forced to confront our most challenging fear and we find the will to survive, our fear then becomes trivial.
I am paying bills, maintaining a house, raising my children, and traveling alone. I am no longer scared of losing a spouse. I am no longer afraid of being alone. I am no longer terrified of becoming a divorced woman and single mother. I am alone, I have survived, thrived, and mastered my independence. I know that one day when I finally do fall in love again with a man, I will not be afraid of losing my partner because I have already lost and I have carried on gracefully.
I will appreciate all that I have in each and every moment.
4. The kids and I can create and celebrate new traditions.
Married life involved the merging of two families and two various groups of family traditions. Holiday meals, festivities, even vacation locations can be difficult to compromise. Now when I plan vacations or holiday celebrations for my three little humans, this mama has all the say. Do we want to visit a new place or return to Disney World again? Do I feel like preparing an entire holiday meal or just a lazy breakfast? New life, new traditions!
In addition, there are no requests from a husband to make "his mother's meatballs" or to spend every holiday at his family's house.
You can go your own way!
5. Absence makes the heart grow fonder.
When restructured families share custody, there are times when one parent is without the children. Our parenting plan includes 50/50 custody. This means alone time for mama! When I do not have the children, my house remains clean and quiet. I have time to catch up on the laundry and Orange is the New Black. I can rush off to Zumba from work with no obligation to secure child care. By the third night alone, I have put away the laundry, grocery shopped, and planned out activities for the next three nights with my kiddos. My heart is eager and more than ready for my babies to come back home to mama!
Every ending offers a new beginning. There are many positives to being a divorced mother with kids, and I love it!