10 Common Issues That Lead Married Couples To Divorce
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By Malini Bhatia, Marriage.com, Contributor - December 07, 2015

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Ideally, marriage is a bond between two people who really and truly love each other, but sometimes that love alone isn’t enough to weather the inevitable storms life brings. Divorce rates, while on a bit of a downturn the past few years, are still high enough for concern. But even knowing that divorce is something a good number of couples resort to, people still want and do get married.

Here are some of the major reasons cited for divorce:

Top 10 Reasons Couples Choose Divorce

1. Disloyalty:

Infidelity is most often cited as the reason for divorce. People cheat for a variety reasons (many of them listed below) but the person who was cheated on can be left with feelings of anger, resentment, weakened self-confidence and abandonment. Recovering after such a major infidelity can seem insurmountable, thus divorce is usually the ultimate option.

Do you suspect your partner of cheating on you? Take this Quiz

2. Finances:

There’s nothing like constant bickering over money (how to spend it, how to save it, how to manage it) to kill a romance. But the truth is, it’s quite unavoidable, and disagreements over financial matters are almost guaranteed. Couples bring different financial backgrounds into the marriage, and arguments over habitual spending, saving for retirement, power struggles as a result of one spouse making more money than the other or one spouse not financial contributing at all can cause a major marital rift.

3. Communication Breakdown:

A verbal and emotional connection is critical to making marriage work. A lack of communication through all the clatter in life can make it hard to really hear each other. Once the communication breaks down, both parties can feel frustrated and resentful, negatively impacting all facets of the marriage.  

4. Bickering and More Bickering:

Aside from money, disputes about the kids, who does more around the house, in-laws and extended family issues, and other contentious battles can lead to never-ending bickering. And many of these arguments are not just “one and done,” but an ongoing clash that couples have repeated, causing exhaustion and a certain amount of apathy towards one another. Constantly arguing about the same things means that each spouse is failing to see things from their partner’s standpoint, driving a wedge between them.

5. Weight:

When one spouse gains or loses a significant amount of weight, it can cause a host of issues in a marriage, even though it sounds like a superficial and trivial reason for divorce. The person who has gained weight is likely experiencing low self-esteem, which can impact intimacy especially if the other spouse is not as attracted to him or her as they were pre-weight gain. Surprisingly, significant weight loss in one partner can also cause marital issues, as the other spouse might find him or herself feeling insecure or less attracted as a result.

6. Lofty Ideals:

When people commit to marriage, they are relatively naive to what goes into it - they may be warned or cautioned, but most people think that their marriage will be the exception to the rule. When individuals come into a marriage thinking the partnership will be sunshine and rainbows all of the time, they are setting their marriage up for failure.

7. Lack of affection:

All the preceding reasons couples get divorced can lead to a serious breakdown in intimacy. And intimacy means more than just sex; it also means expressing genuine affection towards one another. Little signs like like holding hands, hugging or almost any kind of physical touch increases the sense of security within a marriage. Without physical affection, spouses feel more like roommates than a loving couple.

8. Perceived Inequality:

When one person makes more money than the other or one spouse bears more of the parenting issues or one does more of the house work than the other, these feelings of inequality can lead to anger and resentment.

9. Not ready for marriage:

A number of couples who opt for divorce claim that they just weren’t ready for everything involved in making a marriage work. Whether they were too young, too inexperienced, too naive or just plain pressured or bullied into marriage, if a person isn’t ready to take on the responsibilities of marriage, the marriage will suffer.

10. Abuse:

Any physical or emotional mistreatment can cause severe and often irreparable damage to marriage. Both the abuser and the abused are often dealing with profound emotional and psychological issues that ruin all aspects of their lives, including their marriage.

Knowing and recognizing these obstacles to healthy marriages can help couples seek help and support pertaining to these issues before the marriages has completely crumbled. Seeking marital help via positive online sources and forums like www.Marriage.com or the support of counselors can help get the marriage back on track.

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