4 Valuable Lessons I Learned After Leaving My Husband
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By Katie, Guest Author - February 02, 2017

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Over one year ago, I packed up my life and left my husband as I attempted to begin reclaiming and rebuilding my life. I had many doubts and fears when I initially left him. Today, I happily celebrate these four valuable lessons that I have learned from leaving.

 

When a woman discovers the courage to end an unhealthy and unhappy marriage, the world breaks open before her feet with endless opportunities. The universe abhors a vacuum, therefore what we lose is always replaced by a lesson of greater value.

These are the 4 most valuable lessons that I learned when I left my husband:

1. My choices are mine and mine alone.

I own my choices without regret. I did not leave for the love of another person. I did not stay for the sake of the children. I found the will to embrace my feminine power and I made the decision for myself.

When we choose to make ourselves happy by prioritizing our own needs, everyone we love will eventually benefit. I promise.

When I decided to leave my husband, I chose to embark upon the most difficult journey possible. This path would eventually set me free.

I learned that the choice is always mine and that the hard road is always the most liberating.

2. The people that were meant to remain in my life had willingly endured the heartache alongside me.

The people that I had outgrown inevitably fell away.

We have special people in our lives for a reason, a season, or forever. We won't know the duration upon meeting and loving them.

Divorce was a huge testament to the character and dedication of my family and friends.

There were those people that were ready and willing to take on my incessant tears, sit with me on the floor, stack boxes, and pack my stuff. Others made the choice to narrowly squeak in a welfare check. Many judged. Few had even asked for my version of the story.

I was indeed surprised by the ones that ultimately disappointed me.

People eventually revealed their true selves to me on their own.

I learned to trust the process.  

3. When I was painfully honest with myself and my ex-husband, I bestowed upon him the greatest gift.

The truth hurts. The truth will also set you free.

By following my heart, my ex-husband suddenly became free to discover his own true love. We then both began to each live a life of truth and happiness. 

When I was finally honest with myself and realized how unhappy I truly felt in the marriage, I was then able to begin the process of building the life that I now love. So was he.

When we get honest with ourselves and openly admit the true desires of our own hearts, the world suddenly breaks open before us. The world becomes our oyster.

I learned that honesty is ultimately the best policy for everyone involved.

4. I vow to maintain my essence for me.

When I first left the security of my nuclear family, my house, and my marriage the world initially seemed so shaky and unstable. Everything felt new and unfamiliar. Then I returned to the essence of me.

I dove back into the deep waters of the person that I had primarily lost, myself.

I returned to my childhood hobbies that I had put on hold for the sake of the marriage. I began writing and reading once again. I happily rediscovered my old interests like dancing, travel, and bubble baths.

I rejoiced once again in the many gifts that set my soul on fire.

I learned that I always need a full and passionate life of my own that I may safely return to, with or without a partner by my side.

Over one year ago, I packed up my life and left my husband as I attempted to begin reclaiming and rebuilding my life. I had many doubts and fears when I initially left him. Today, I happily celebrate these four valuable lessons that I have learned from leaving.

The author John Green shares, "It is so hard to leave—until you leave. And then it is the easiest goddamned thing in the world."

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