7 Tips For Building Yourself Back Up After A Relationship Let Down
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By Tanya, Guest Author - October 31, 2016 - Updated February 20, 2017

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If you want to be happy, confident, positive and self-assured in this stage of your life, try these seven tips to help you get back on track to being the happy, smiling, joyful woman you know you can be.

1. Try a New Hair Style!

Trying something new and different is one of the steps you can take to shake off that past life and walk toward the next chapter in your new life. Just please keep in mind when deciding on that new haircut or color job, that it complements the new woman you are trying to be. Just because your ex liked your hair jet black and shoulder length, doesn’t mean, now that you are free and single you should get a mohawk and dye your hair leprechaun green! Nothing against mohawks or the color green, but if, for example, you are in your late forties and work in a corporate office, I don’t think that look is going to work.  You can get that hair style you’ve been eyeing in the magazine or online for months, but make sure it’s right for you and makes you happy.

Now if you are going to change your hairstyle, you have GOT to work on your wardrobe. Now I’m not saying throw out every piece of clothing you own, just start with one outfit at a time. Add some colors you would not have worn before. Because if you buy one more pair of black pants or a brown sweater, your closet is going to scream! Summer time is not the only season to wear brighter colors, you are safe to wear reds, oranges, greens, pinks, yellows and even whites all year around. I believe brighter more vibrant colors do help you improve your mood. You’re noticed more and not blending in with the furniture and when you’re more social, your mood is better. 

3. Redecorate!

Ok, now we are moving outwards to the surroundings. If you want to enhance your self-esteem by changing your mood, start redecorating one space at a time. The first space should be your bedroom. Let’s face it, you start your day there and you end your day there. You’ve laughed and cried in that room, rested and worried there. So why not start with one of the most comfortable places in your home.  You could start small by changing the bedroom set, especially if that was the bed you used to share with your ex. You could repaint a room, and new pillows to the bed or sofa or even put up new pictures that you like. Remember it’s all about you and what you want and like. You would be surprised how a new coat of paint can change a room. 

4. Start A New Hobby!

You always wanted to try Salsa dancing but your ex had two left feet and they were always propped up on the sofa. Now you can take those classes and learn something new as well as meet new people. Or you can take a painting class so the next time your co-workers invite you out for wine and paint night, your painting won’t look like your five-year-old did it. Getting a new hobby or taking a class helps build your confidence to try new things and that can help you feel better about yourself. Accomplishing something is a real esteem booster. 

5. Be Around Positive People/Environment!

Watch the company you keep. This was a saying that was passed down from my grandmother to my mother, to me and I have said it to my daughter. Basically, it means to pay close attention to the people you associate with or who you call your friends. If you want to build up your self-esteem, being in a positive, up-lifting atmosphere can help. Let’s face it, people can give off both positive or negative energy.  If you want to feel good, positive and self-assured then you need to surround yourself with people who can help you achieve that feeling by showing examples of these aspects in their own lives. Smiles and laughter are contagious. 

6. Improve Your Lifestyle!

Ok, just because you were a homebody when you were married, doesn’t mean now that you are single you should hit every bar in town, in one night, every Saturday night. Take time to ease into a lifestyle change if that’s what you want.  If you like reading, join a book club. Like knitting, try joining that club. Find what your interests are, then research online, the library or colleges to see if they offer a class, group or club for it.  Joining a group of people with similar interests will help to build your self-esteem, help you come out of your shell and when you’re happy, your friends are too.  

7. Give Yourself Positive Affirmation Every Day!

I think this is the most important one of all. If you don’t believe good things about yourself, then how can you expect others to think of you that way. Your value isn’t in what others think of you, it’s what you think of yourself.  Start off every morning saying out loud to your mirror image three positive things about yourself.  Then each month add two more affirmations. You’ll be surprised how much better you feel about you that your feelings change as well as your outward appearance. 

I ended each point with a similar sentence or saying because I wanted you to know how important positive statements are to your overall wellbeing. They say if you repeat something several times a day, you will remember it. Well, I want you to remember it and say it over and over again, the happier woman is waiting.

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