In my last article, I was in the depths of despair over a trapped kitten. Twelve hours later I was jumping with joy. Forty-eight hours later I was full of hope for the future. This is the life of a high conflict divorcee' living in constant limbo and waiting for the tides to turn. In my case, I've been waiting several years. And it was hard to continue to hope for a great life, or even a normal one really (normal sounds really great actually).
I want to share my joy with you and my faith for your future as well as mine. I just got a fantastic job offer. That's an understatement. A miraculous job offer!
But first the kitten rescue. The morning after tearfully leaving the kitten meowing in despair, still stuck in the silo, we called the proprietors of the silo, believing that such a large organisation would never return to their abandoned site for a kitten. Our realism was rebuffed. They were there in 30 minutes. And the grates that seemed fused shut were skillfully opened by two strong men and their love for animals. They descended on an industrial sized ladder and came out with a fluffy orange kitten. Thirty minutes after that my friend Maggie volunteered to take all three kittens home. Nothing could have wiped off my smile that day.
Just when you're ready to throw in the towel in despair, the wind changes and the clouds part. Happy endings exist, even for us.
And now for my miracle:
I have been stuck in the corn for three years now. I mean literally stuck (thanks to the custody order) in a series tiny french villages surrounded by fields of corn. And I was not a happy farmer… nooooo! Mr Worm grew up here before traveling the world with me and becoming a businessman. And so the French courts have decided that it is only fitting that Mr. French Worm and his French-blooded children remain in his home corn village until they are 18. No passports allowed. I'm sure you can imagine what my job prospects are here since my international business experience makes no difference here, I could be a cashier at the mini-mart or serve coffee and cigarettes at the local brasserie. That's as businessy as it gets in these parts. Temporarily ignoring these possible job options (and hoping the custody order would change), I went back to school and got my masters.
But after my degree I was back in the same boat as I ran through all the options again. Can I live on minimum wage for the next 11 years eating pasta with tomato tuna sauce? Should I get a real job in a big city and commute? The work from home options were mind numbing. Is Mr. Worm going to succeed in his promise to "make me regret leaving"? I just COULD NOT handle looking five to 10 years ahead... at my greying hair and my blue apron, cashiering and dreaming of the next weekend I would see my beautiful children. This is not my life!
On another level, this was simply not my inner reality. During the last three years, I had been regularly visualizing and goal setting. I had been digging deep to find my inner purpose and what fuels my passions. I had made list after list of beliefs and goals for myself. I watched all the TED talks and inspirational speakers on Youtube. I had gotten some free life coaching online (which was amazing). I had made vision boards and these boards included living an amazing life, surrounded by inspirational and intellectual people while also making a big impact on the planet for the alleviation of suffering and poverty. The vision board has me being TED talk speaker and a philanthropist! The vision board was more real to me than all this French court bullsh*t. My reading, my activities, my interests and new contacts were in line with my visions, not my situation. I wanted to be ready when my train comes. My inner and outer life were at opposite ends of the spectrum and I had been feeling a bit guilty about my lack of willingness to finally "give in" to the realities of corn village.
But then I had a gut feeling. My friend, Maggie, told me her friends were looking for an assistant and I knew the job was for me. I called them the same day. It turns out they, too, live in the same corn fields I do. It turns out they are international business people and are making a large impact. It turns out we have the same ideas about work, social responsibility, and lots in common on a personal level. The stars were aligned, the timing was right and it just felt like coming home. The vision board was right all along. I now have an amazing job, tailor-made to my every specification. It's blowing my mind.
Here's the kicker. Even if I had been in a big city, working my way up the organizational ranks for the next 10 years, I might never have found a job so perfectly tailored for me. If I had gotten "my way" I would have missed out on this. And if I had not surmounted the mountains of crap these last three years of divorce have offered me, I might not be as strong and confident. I would not have dug down deep. I would not have become the lady that argues with "reality".
As I told my mother, moving mountains is our everyday business now. We are old hats at it. And as I become stronger, I feel like mountains will eventually just back off with one good dirty stare. Can you believe that last week I was in despair? I can't.
photo credit: Corn Dusk via photopin (license)