By Virginia Masters for DivorcedMoms.com
He said, she said. Actually, no one is saying much of anything that we can “take to the bank”. Sadly, divorce happens, and this one is a biggie that is being played out for the entire world to see.
By late yesterday, competing theories filled the media. Alleged abuse, affairs on his side and family battles over parenting and family ties gone bad. There is even the regrettable irreconcilable differences cause of action based on different parenting styles and different plans for the future. He wants Hollywood, but she wants to continue with her work in the social, political and charitable arenas.
Will We Ever Know Why Brad And Angelina Are Divorcing?
We may never know what truly happened, and honestly, I prefer it that way. There is a real ugliness that goes along with knowing what the turning point is for a failed marriage. I have already expressed my disdain for both of them, so I am skimming most articles just to be up to date with my cocktail party chatter. (Actually, I don’t remember the last cocktail party I attended. This is good old fashioned celebrity gossip and I just cannot help myself. I wonder if my neighbors felt the same way as they watched my marriage fall apart.)
I can totally and completely relate to the attempt to keep my business private. My former life kept me in a reasonably visible position in my community. The badness in my household was my secret, and I managed to keep it together because I am an introverted introvert. I worked so hard to keep my secret until I could no longer, as my mother said, "fix the torn coat." ( If you fix it in one place, it will tear in another, she told me all to ofter, and to this day, I hate that she was right.)
I literally went into hiding when I sent my children to the in school group for divorced children. It was my way to let the information trickle out slowly. I didn't have TMZ following me everywhere I went. Brangelina doesn’t have that option. There is absolutely nothing that they are going to be able to do to maintain their privacy, and under some really sad parameters, it might not benefit them to do so. Similar to games that us real folks can play it’s so easy to suggest inappropriate behavior that leads to the questioning of someone’s ability to parent. Ugly is Ugly.
Jockeying for public sympathy as we will no doubt see, is a component that thankfully most of us do not have to deal with. Should the allegations of child abuse be true, it can have a Mel Gibson effect on Mr. Pitt’s future success, though I guess if anyone waits long enough, people forget. Just ask Woody Allen. While very different, I remember my ex-husband showing up to Court expecting me to make the most of his lack of parenting skills to put it kindly. Instead, I wanted it to be an opportunity for him to do better.
I just wanted out. I didn’t want to hurt him, and I certainly didn’t want to hurt my kids. Let’s hope that if these allegations are untrue, that neither Angelina or her lawyer use them to be destructive. If they are true, look out. Like any single mom, she deserves to go full out Mama Bear and protect the kids.
The truly sad part of this is that there are children, six of them, who love both parents. This life is real to them, and no matter how we readers scan the internet looking for updates on the gossip, these larger than life celebrities are just people hoping that today turns into tomorrow and their children can remain unhurt.