Every divorced woman has her own story of the pain divorce caused her to experience.
As the managing editor of DivorcedMoms, I set out to write a general article about the subject of divorce. I found that for me, that isn’t possible. The legal process of divorce has a starting point, an ending point and a whole lot of emotional sludge, second thinking and “putting one foot in front of the other” before, in-between and after.
I needed a place to start, something general I could write about that everyone who goes through a divorce experiences. If you ask anyone who has been through a divorce you will, most likely, find that it all began with a broken heart, emotional pain. Months or, maybe even years of suffering that led up to the start of the legal process of divorce.
That is something I can safely say we all have in common. Every divorced woman has her own story of the pain divorce caused her to experience. Whether you are a woman left behind to deal with an unwanted divorce or, a woman who made the decision to divorce, you’ve had to rebuild your life, let go of the past and move on, all while dealing with highly charged emotions.
Our stories play out differently, we experience emotions in unique ways but, in the end, it hurts like hell and having others to lean on and learn from makes navigating those choppy emotional waters a little less daunting. And that is what DivorcedMoms.com is about for me, support, guidance, and resources for women before, during and after divorce. Resources that encompass every aspect of divorce.
Our experiences leading up to divorce will be different, but the confusion, the anxiety, and the process of recovering are pretty much the same.
It’s hard work whether you made the choice to divorce or that choice was shoved off onto you. That work is made easier when you are part of a community of other women who understand due to their own experience with divorce.
Regardless of how you got here, here you are, standing in the shadow of painful emotions and faced with the task of navigating the legal divorce process, raising your children, rebuilding your life and “moving on.” For that to happen, you need someone and somewhere to turn. We are here!
DivorcedMoms.com is grounded in my philosophy that we are all primarily responsible for our own actions and decisions. In other words, healing the pain and rebuilding your life is up to you and the work you are willing to do. You can only control your own actions and decisions. During a divorce, you will feel out of control and question every action you take and decision we make.
During the legal process of divorce, you will be expected to make knowledgeable choices about issues such as child custody, visitation, and division of marital property. The legal process of divorce is easier to navigate if you are properly dealing with the emotional aspect of your divorce.
How do you do that?
You don’t give into hopelessness, despair, or anxiety.
You focus on your strengths instead of your weaknesses. You focus on what you can do for yourself instead of what you think you can’t do. You rebuild what has been damaged and arm yourself with a plan for the future. Then you move from brokenhearted to full on empowerment.
You are charged with moving through the divorce process in a healthy, self-loving manner.
Joseph Campbell said, “We must be willing to let go of the life we've planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.” Take it from someone who has been through the emotional upheaval of an unwanted divorce – me, there is plenty of life waiting. It is yours for the taking!