Don’t Let Fear Rule In 2017: Take Control Of Your Success

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By Jennifer, Guest Author - January 03, 2017

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I challenge you to overcome your fears in 2017. Whether that is coming to terms with your weaknesses or asking that guy out, you will never succeed unless you suck it up and go for it. Want a raise? Ask. Want something different in life? Make the change.

 

I’ve heard from so many people who said that 2016 just plain sucked. I have no doubt that they had bad things happen during the year, but surely there is something during the last 365 days that was good.

After all, the Cubs finally won the World Series again, and someone other than the Patriots won the Super Bowl. 

I’m a firm believer that the quality of our thoughts determines the quality of our lives. When I’ve shot for the stars and put my fears aside, I’ve achieved my goals. When I let my fears and insecurities creep in, the thing I’m afraid of happens. When you focus on the bad, that is what you’ll find. However, when you focus on the good, your life will be richer. 

Tony Robbins said, “Change happens when the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of change.”

Letting Fear Control:

This plays out in so many lives. I know someone who is afraid to date again because it’s been so long since he has. I know someone who is afraid to live with someone again because it’s been so long that he feels like a loner. A friend who is afraid to let go of a toxic person because the fear of not being good enough is greater. 

I’ve not submitted my work to national publications because I’ve been afraid of rejection. If I don't submit, there’s still that possibility of acceptance one day when I’ve learned more, when I’ve grown more and when I’ve experienced more. If I do submit and fail, then I have to live with that. 

But what is the alternative to those fears? Why not take a chance on happiness? Why stay in the same rut? Most people tend to repeat mistakes until they learn from them. I’ve played it safe and not made myself vulnerable to failure in different areas of my life. But what if I'm good enough now?

Letting Fear Go and Setting Growth Goals:

One of my growth goals this year is to strengthen my weaknesses. My strength is that I see the good in others. My weakness is that most of the time, I obstinately refuse to see the faults of someone I care about. 

Refusing to see a friend’s faults/weaknesses, or a potential partner’s faults rob me of an important learning opportunity. It makes it harder to create boundaries to protect myself from disappointment or from being taken advantage of. It makes it harder to pick someone who will be a true match. It also robs me and that person from having a deeper connection. 

Figuring out what your weaknesses and fears are is half the battle. At my mentor’s suggestion, I took the Myers-Briggs and DiSC personality tests. It was incredibly interesting to focus on the results and become more aware of what my weaknesses are and how I can become more effective in my relationships and at work.

Identifying Your Fears:

So what are your fears? Do you even know what they are? I would say that for my friends mentioned above, their fear is all the same: failure. They are simply afraid to fail. But there really isn’t failure. With each relationship, situation or experience, you gain knowledge. When you gain knowledge, that is not failure. It makes you wiser to try something else. You know what not to do next time.

So if you have a fear of failure in relationships, find someone who isn’t going to bail when you fail at something. A girlfriend of mine keeps apologizing for being a bad friend while she goes through a hard spot in her life. But as her friend, I want to see her succeed and eventually she will. Big changes take time but I see her desire to grow and change and that is worth my investment.

What she also forgets is that she was there for me during one of the hardest times of my life. She was there with a shoulder to cry on and an ear to listen to me ad nauseam about my fears, my worries, and my insecurities. She was there with a cup of my favorite hot tea. Friends don’t mind if you fail. They help you get back up or stand beside you when part of your growth is to pick yourself up.

I challenge you to overcome your fears in 2017. Whether that is coming to terms with your weaknesses or asking that guy out, you will never succeed unless you suck it up and go for it. Want a raise? Ask. Want something different in life? Make the change.

Life is now and I refuse to sit on the sidelines of my life waiting for something to happen. Good things sometimes fall into your lap, but they always come when you work for them. Good things come when you overcome your fear and go after what you want. I’m not implying you will be successful 100 percent of the time. But I would rather try and fail than sit in fear and wonder “what if.”

So this year, I’ll submit my work nationally. I may fail, but that’s okay. If I get feedback, then I’ll know what to change and gain knowledge. This year, I’ll work at loving and accepting others while acknowledging their shortcomings and mine. This year, I’ll work toward achieving my goals each day and overcome my fears and strengthen my weaknesses. 

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