Gara Hoke Lacy
Gara Hoke Lacy is an attorney and stepmom coach living in Charleston, West Virginia. Upon her marriage, she became the custodial stepmother of three, who are now young adults. Her experiences and advice, both as a stepmother and stepchild, are chronicled on her website www.SuddenlyStepmom.com. Additionally, she can be found on both Twitter and Facebook as “Suddenly Stepmom.”
From Suddenly Stepmom:
“Whereas, I, Gara Ann Hoke, being of sound mind and judgment (questionable?) do enter into the institution of holy matrimony with the much-married, teenager-equipped, financially-burdened and youth-challenged Gerald R. Lacy.
There being every obstacle known to man to oppose the notion of connubial bliss, I pledge my undying love 1) for better or for worse (bleacher butt included), 2) in sickness and in health (noting the considerable age difference), 3) for richer and for poorer (keeping in mind that three teenagers will ensure “poorer”) and 4) forsaking all others (except for those with keys to our home).
I hereby swear and affirm that I understand the following:
I will never again know peace and quiet.
I will constantly be cleaning up other’s messes.
I will sound exactly like my own parents.
I will have to endure Disney World vacations.
And, I will share a bathroom.
Being all the wiser to the encumbrances placed upon this union, I hereby enter this institution (pun intended!) of my own free will, without reservation.
So help me God. Really.
Now that we have that out of the way, let me be clear. This is not a how-to manual on stepparenting. I will not be offering up a step-by-step approach to happily-ever-after. But if you are looking for a tale of a little love and laughter, you have chosen well. My life is a work in progress, as is my marriage and the relationship with my stepchildren. I have learned that parenting never ceases, no matter the age of your child.”
This was my story seven years ago when I married my husband. You see, I met the man of my dreams nearly ten years ago when I was a young lawyer climbing the corporate ladder. He was the handsome, Al Pacino-type who happened to be the partner whose name was on the door. And I fell hard. Fortunately, the feeling was mutual. So we married and have been pursuing our very own happily-ever-after since.
I’m proud of the family that we have created, my relationships with my stepchildren and the marriage that we have forged over the years. But I’m not just a stepmom, I’m also a stepchild, the product of a 30-year union between my mother and stepfather. I share my experiences good and bad, but try to keep my eye towards the positive aspects of family life.
I’m glad that you dropped by. And I’d be delighted if you would join me on my stepmom journey.
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