Dear Dreadfully Divorcing, Keep Learning, Keep Growing, Keep Going

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By Tara Eisenhard, Featured DM Blogger - June 26, 2013 - Updated December 20, 2016

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Dear Dreadfully Divorcing,

I know your heart is riddled with emotions right now. I know that among those are guilt, shame, anger, hurt, loss, fear… and yes, even hope, love and anticipation. I know that your body is weary and your mind is tired. I understand you’re facing an uncertain future and your wallet is bracing for a big hit.

Everyone's divorce experience is different, and yet, they're all the same. The following questions, affirmations, and advice are intended to assist in lighting the path of your journey.

Do you want a divorce?  Or do you want expensive drama? You are attractive, intelligent and independent. You know better than to get caught up in the ridiculous games that people play.

Do you want your children to make it through this experience as confident and complete individuals?  If so, allow them to love their other parent (as imperfect as s/he might be). Humans aren't yet capable of asexual reproduction, so don't denigrate your child's DNA.

What really matters?  Is it who gets more custody?  Is it who has a better lawyer?  Or is it the sense of self, peace of mind and individual well-being of all members of your family? 

Self-care is important, be it naps, massages, sports or therapy...take the time to take care of you.

Reach out and ask for help if you need it. And remember that "this, too, shall pass".

On the other side of divorce, a new life awaits you...a life that is yours to construct as you please. Within that new life, there are hobbies and friends and laughter and love.

All you have to do is get there...

Keep learning, keep growing, keep going.

Sincerely,

Happily Divorced

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