Serial infidelity, not something I ever thought I'd be the victim of. My husband told me he wasn't "that kind of man" and I believed him. Right up until he came clean about his past affairs, on Christmas Eve, no less!
It was before dinner on Christmas Eve when my soon-to-be-ex-husband decided to come clean with his infidelities. Christmas Eve.
A few weeks before, I had been alarmed by a cryptic text message from an unknown person who chastised him for not being the “man or Captain” the messager thought he was. The person threatened that he/she had enough information to jeopardize his career and his marriage.
When I asked him about it, he told me with “sadness” and “concern” that he was being victimized by someone at his company, that he did not know who it was, and that the Human Resources Department was conducting an investigation.
Wow! I had said. Can I see some of the emails from your HR Department?
No, he replied. The company has a new policy of deleting all emails after 7 days.
WHAT? Are you serious?
Yes, that was a red flag. But after so many years of convincing me that he would never betray me because his mother had done the same thing to his pilot father, he would never, no matter how bad things got, do that to me, because he just wasn’t that kind of man, I still didn’t think he would do that to me and our children.
Nope. Turns out, he is worse than his mother.
He is a narcissist. His number one concern is not our children, but himself. It only took a few therapy sessions for my counselor and me to uncover this truth.
He is a pathological liar. He is so convincing that I now know he can no longer distinguish between reality and his own lies. He has lied about where he is, who he is with, and money he has or hasn’t spent. Even when he told the truth, he lied about how many women there were. One, he said, was not REALLY an affair since we just made out.
What is this, high school?
In his confession, he puked up several names, all but one of whom I had the pleasure of checking out on Facebook. The make-out-only woman looked old, and some said, like a man.
The one who was actually somewhat pretty still had a Paris Hilton nose and teeth like John Elway.
There’s one I can’t find. She must be the smart one of the bunch. But she also haunts me. Is she pretty? Or is she homely, like Make-Out-Only?
I accidentally “followed” Paris Hilton-Elway on Instagram. Not seeing my real name, she follows me back. I think it is hilarious. She’s about 20 to 25 years younger than my husband. So typical. It must be fun sleeping with someone who is young enough, not only to be your daughter but to make you a GRANDFATHER.
As soon as New Year’s Day had passed, I went straight to an attorney and filed for divorce. Hubby was shocked. He couldn’t believe that I didn’t instantly forgive him.
We’re still in the early process of divorce, in fact, he’s reviewing the completely equal financial settlement proposal and hasn’t retained an attorney himself. Although, he keeps dropping hints that he doesn’t agree with the value of the home or the amount of child support. I could have a battle on my hands. It has finally sunk in that he is about to lose EVERYTHING.
I struggle with not really knowing this person I’ve spent the last 26 years with and the impact our split is having on our children. But I know it will be better in the long run. He has yet to move out of the house, and the next holiday on the horizon is Easter. I wonder what bombshell he’ll drop on me then. Probably that one of those girls is pregnant.
Happy freakin’ Easter.