There is something about him that keeps you around. There is something about him that calls to you and pulls you back in. What is "it?" What is that force that keeps you going back for more and more?
It is kind of creepy to think that narcissists can be so addictive.
They are inconsiderate. They are often times ruthless. They are mean. They are thoughtless. They are insensitive. They are hardly the knight in shining armor we thought they were in the beginning. They are hardly the prince charming we credited them to be. Take off all the hardware and what you really have is the tail end of the white horse versus that studly rider. They are narcissists.
And yet, here we are in our restless sleep waiting for that kiss that will wake us up to our happily ever after. Waiting and waiting, and more waiting. The problem is that we are waiting for the wrong guy to make the right choice. And, the other problem? We think that this bad guy, this guy that is going to one day make that right choice. Until then we continue in our pursuit of a toxic man and a toxic relationship holding out hope that some magic will occur and he will become all we need him to be.
Yeah, I'm hollering bullshit too but that's because from the outside looking in it is easy to call bull. From the inside looking out, it's hard to explain.
It can be really difficult to break free from the narcissist.
It can be even more difficult to explain to others why breaking away from him is so hard. There's just no explaining it. For someone to understand they have to have been there and know it takes a lot of time to get worn down enough to feel strong enough to take those first steps out of the relationship.
In the meantime, your support system gets frustrated with your inability to see the narcissist for what he is and they stop caring or stop trying to make you see him for who he is and that makes it even harder to break away from a relationship with the narcissist.
When you're alone, your friends have given up on you, it only makes sense that you'll hold on tighter to the only person you have left...the narcissist.
How do you survive a relationship with a narcissist when you've worn out your support system? Here are 3 Tips.
1. Trust yourself. When you feel alone trusting your gut, even when it leads you to make the most uncomfortable decisions is going to be more right than wrong. You know yourself better even if you are not aware of it and that is why you have instincts. What you don’t realize or see with your heart, your head does and it has a way of letting you know. Trust your gut. Keep moving towards your freedom.
2. Stay on your path. Don’t let the ignorance of others prevent you from continuing on your path to freedom from the narcissist. Most of the heroes and heroines you know initiated their paths to change own their own. They went up against many who told them they couldn’t do it or they could not accomplish anything on their own. You already know that to not be the case.
3. Don’t panic. This might be the most difficult of all. As the unknown emerges and change begins to take place it can be easy to psych yourself out, telling yourself that you are making the wrong choice or falling prey to the narcissist's charms again. When we are faced with the unknown we tend to allow wild emotions drive our thinking and our actions. We tend to stay within our comfort zone when the unknown rears its unfamiliar head. It is at that moment we forget the goal and give up. It is at that moment we need the support the most. It is at that moment we need to be the strongest and be true to ourselves – not the narcissist.
There comes a time when you can feel it happening. Little by little, reality chips away at your patience revealing what you are truly worth. So, don't give up. Even when others seem to have given up on you, they really haven't - they just don't know how to be there for you. So keep going. You're almost there. You can break free of your narcissist.