As I sit here listening to Annie Lennox, one of the greatest vocalists of all time, I find myself wanting to make a mix tape for divorced moms. There are so many songs that speak to their trials and tribulations. Think about a song like 'Say' by John Mayer and the reality that in so many relationships, there are so many things that needed to be said and just weren't. How many other songs reflect the plight of women through the process of marriage, divorce and rediscovery?
And with that question comes my real-ationship playlist. As in, the real feelings and experiences people have whether they're in the thick of the marriage, going through the process of getting out or moving on after the divorce!
Sit back and enjoy the vibes going on in your head whilst I play this virtual disc.
In The Thick of the Marriage
- Waiting in Vain by Annie Lennox: There are several lines in this song that speak to how some women feel in a marriage. "But I know now, that I'm way down on your line" speaks to the lack of priority some people put on their significant other. The chorus line "I don't want to wait in vain for your love" represents something women feel a lot when they realize they are living and loving in someone else's shadow
- Unpretty by TLC: Simply put, this song is about the fact that some women don't feel pretty as it is and now they are with someone that exacerbates the feeling.
- You Let Your Heart Go Too Fast by Spin Doctors: How many people have married someone only to realize there are a lot of disconnects that could have been discovered had they been a little more patient and exploratory before saying "I do"? Answer? A lot.
- Ships in the Night by Mat Kearney: One of the greatest frustrations of married women is having a husband who can't have a healthy discussion about issues. The result of course will be that they will avoid the discussion, tension will build and they will eventually be ships in the night, just passing each other by.
Getting Out of the Marriage
- Not Gon' Cry by Mary J. Blige: "I did so much for you and I loved you so much. But you know what, I will not cry for you anymore! I'm done." So many have been here before and walked out the door.
- Strong Enough by Sheryl Crow: There's mental strength, emotional strength and physical strength. Here, Sheryl Crow sings about a mans lack of mental and emotional strength, something she feels is an important aspect of a healthy relationship. When a woman is getting out of a marriage, it can often be because she doesn't feel like her husband is strong enough for her or a relationship.
- What Do You Got? by Bon Jovi: One of the simplest messages that leads to women leaving. Nice house? Check. Nice friends? Check. Vacations plentiful? Check. Real love? Nope.
- King of Anything by Sara Bareilles: "You've treated me like a stool that you can just walk on for years." "You always think you're right and I've allowed you to live on that pedestal for your own sake." But no more. You are not the king of anything! Says lots of women as they walk out the door.
- Sometimes Love Just Aint Enough by Patty Smyth and Don Henley: A simple message with so many intricacies. And, something women often come to the realization of. "I love him in so many different ways but that's no enough anymore." Have you had this conversation with yourself?
Moving On Strong!
- Teenage Dream by Katy Perry: Lighthearted and bubblegum in nature but when a woman has finally decided to move on, it's important (and common) for her to remember when love was fun. She will look for someone that makes her feel like she did when it was cute and sexy and romantic because she wants that cloud nine again.
- He Wasn't Man Enough by Toni Braxton: 'Wasn't' is the key word here. As she dates and finds there are men that are unselfish and communicative, among other things, she will reflect on the simple fact that her ex wasn't man enough for her. And it will be empowering. And it will be confirmation that she did the right thing.
- Shake It Off by Taylor Swift: You're single. Have fun. Make new memories. Fly your freak flag proudly. All in the mold of shaking it off--it being whatever may have been that you won't let define or bother you.
- Brand New Day by Sting: It is isn't it? And you're making it so!
- Exactly by Amy Steinberg: You are exactly where you need to be. And you're strong. And you shine. So shine on and be comfortable that you made the right decision!
There are so many other songs that could play on this CD. These are songs you've played in your head and your heart but as you wind down from this 70-minute spin, remember and take one song with you.
Exactly by Amy Steinberg
"I am exactly where I need to be, I need to be exactly where I am I am a blessing manifest...."
I can't tell you how powerful and empowering the song is. And no, I don't get residuals for it, it's just that darn good!
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