11 Ways To Optimize Your Emotional & Physical Health NOW
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September 09, 2015

635675175991139410Fotolia_75201171_XS.jpgWe divorced moms, or those somewhere on the divorce spectrum, put up with enormous stress in our lives—from difficult ex’s, to navigating the dating scene, to raising our children—it would be enough to push even the strongest of us over the edge.

And as we head into cooler temps, if we aren’t taking care of ourselves, we are also more likely to get sick-- emotionally and physically.

As a cancer survivor who still gets all kinds of un-fun treatments, nothing is more important to me than my health.

I went through chemo, loss of hair, and no immune system. I came back swinging by doing things that made me physically and emotionally strong. They work, they really do. Try my Top 11 and I think you will see a huge difference right away.

Ditch Unhealthy Relationships

A bad relationship must go—it is essential to achieving happiness and peace. This means a spouse, boyfriend, friend, or even a parent, if it comes to that. If you are married to an abusive husband, you must start planning an escape. If you have children with your husband, this can be difficult but numerous studies show that if you are in a high-conflict marriage, children fare far worse if their parents attempt to “stick it out” for their sake.

Sometimes divorce, as awful as they are, can be far better than a bad marriage. Some day, with a divorce, there will (hopefully) be peace. If you are in a toxic relationship with a boyfriend, it is time to end it and get therapy so you aren’t repeating past mistakes. Sometimes parents or friends can be toxic, too.

Eliminating or minimizing contact with negative people is essential because they can make you physically and emotionally sick. That doesn’t mean I’m quick to cut people out of my life but since getting cancer, I realize that extremely bad relationships must end because I cannot heal and stay healthy with constant negative energy.

Take Up Prayer, Medication and/or Yoga

Prayer, meditation, and yoga are fantastic for clearing your mind, thinking through tough issues, and making wise decisions. After a few months' break for the summer, I hit up Bikram yoga again yesterday (in fact, I'm heading there again right after finishing this article), which is 107-degree temperature for 90-minutes. It was a deep emotional and physical purge. As I sweat out impurities, my mind is cleared too. Meditation and prayer are also fantastic relaxation techniques that calm your soul.

Drink Water

Staying properly hydrated isn’t even debatable. Drink water all day long. If you need flavor, add lemon or other fruit. Unflavored ice tea or organic coffees without sugar are also healthy alternatives. Green tea is one of the healthiest drinks on the planet. While you are sipping on healthy beverages all day long, remember to breathe deeply. These are incredibly simple things you can do throughout the day for your health.

Wash Your Hands & Keep Them Out Of Your Face

The fastest way to catch a cold is to shake hands, push a shopping cart around Costco, or visit your children’s school and then put your hands near your eyes, nose and mouth (I’m so guilty of this!). Keep an organic hand sanitizer with you and use if often (some are extremely toxic).

Walk More/Drive Less

Costco and Starbucks, two stores I visit most, are literally less than a mile from home. Instead of driving, if I’m not picking up too many items, I walk. The beautiful fall crisp air is amazing. It clears my head and lungs and gives me fresh Vitamin D. Even if you’re shopping, park far away from the store entrance. In really cold weather, walk around a large shopping mall or store so you can get some exercise.

Take Baths in Epsom Salt

A bath is a fantastic way to relax before going to be. I love Epsom salts and essential oils so I add them to my bath water. Lavender is naturally calming. Almost without fail, I sleep far better, which is essential to keeping your immune system strong.

Make New Friends

Get out! Go out! Try a new hobby and talk to those around you. Make new friends, invite them to lunch. Laugh and smile often. 

Put Your Phone Away

Have several hours each day where you put all electronic devices away. It is amazing how much life I miss out on while staring at a screen.

Do Not Engage

With my ex-husband, we thrived on sending each other horribly accusatory text and email messages. Refusing to respond was one of the best (but hardest!) decisions I ever made. Do not engage in negative conversations, electronic or otherwise. Simply put your phone down, take a deep breath, go for a walk, or start cooking your favorite recipe. Let it go! Trust me- you will be far happier and healthier if you do.


You must get proper rest, there is no other option. If you need a nap, take it. Try to get seven or more hours of sleep every night. Naps are wonderful, too.

Add Organic Beauty Products To Your Beauty Routine

I refuse to use lotions, hair products or facial cleansers that aren’t organic and don’t smell fabulous. There are many options, including Burt’s Bees and others that are available at Walmart or Target, so try them. They feel fantastic on the skin. Instead of using some lotions, I have swapped with pure organic coconut oil. My legs are never dry or scaly anymore and it is inexpensive. I often add an essential oil to it so it smells great. I personally love grapefruit or peppermint. Yum!

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