I Fell In Love With My Tattoo Artist
I used to say that if anything ever happened to my husband, or if we ever separated, that I would never date or marry again. I assumed that all I would want was to be alone and not have to answer to anyone or put in the energy required for a healthy relationship. So imagine my surprise to find myself falling head over heels for the man who tattoos me before my divorce is even final.
Look at me go.
And of course the general opinions coming from the mouths of people I didn't ask in the first place is that it's too soon because
- My divorce isn't final
- I need to grieve the death of my marriage
- I need to learn about myself
- I need to learn what I want in a relationship
- I need to explore my emotions
- I'm clearly a needy, clingy, attention-seeking woman
I came across (ie. I was searching for evidence to support my opinion) an article in Psychology Today that totally justifies my case. The sum of the piece was that there are more pros to rebound relationships than cons.
So take that.
I read several lists and articles that map out the classic rebound relationship 'symptoms' and very few of them seem to apply to me. Unlike many divorcees, I don't think I really needed the time to separate emotionally from my husband, because I did it years ago, which is what led to our divorce in the first place.
Is this a 'rebound' relationship? If such a thing is defined as a short-term relationship used to distract oneself from the pain of separation, then absolutely not. I am happy and have zero depression. I have confidence, joy and hope for my future... all things that I lost many years ago. To anyone who would say that this relationship happened fast, I agree. It happened crazy fast! We met in March, started talking in July, fell in love and started spending significant amounts of time together in October and in January I am moving halfway across the country to live with him. I married my husband after 7 months of dating and we were married for 19 years, so apparently fast is the only way I like to move. I'm doing nothing out of my character and being true to what the real me needs.
And I'm moving forward with my heart and eyes wide open.
My toy has always been there, my rock when all else is failed, my marriage. My toy performed extordinary always with nothing expected in return.
If you can't seem to "move on" or are constantly talking about or, re-living your divorce, chances are you're keeping yourself stuck.
In second marriages, the relationship may be better but the resentment you carry from having to deal with kids and money decisions from a previous marriage may bring doom.