Co-Parenting en Masse. How Many People Get a Say?

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August 03, 2015

The boy turned 16 a few weeks ago and is now a driver.  

 

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AARGH.

 

It was all fine and fun until Stanley started texting me about buying him a car.  Honestly it didn't even occur to me that he needed a car at this time.  

I was like, "What?  That isn't even on my radar yet."

 

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... he needs The Boy to be able drive to school from his new house.  

Honestly it took me a while to clue in.  I thought maybe he was thinking of buying him a car for his birthday which I thought was a little extreme. Then, I went into panic mode because he asked me how much I could contribute and it was only a few days after the wedding.  I was the epitome of Broke Ass.  If anyone should recall, I tried to encourage Stanley to buy a house in the same neighborhood so we could keep the carpools intact.  We do have 3 kids in 3 different schools after all.  

 

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Well, I was very upset when I realized that when school starts on August 10th, he wants my baby to drive himself.  

 I didn't speak to him about my concerns until we all went for The Boys Birthday dinner.  It was Stanley and his GF (who played kissy face), all 3 kids, + Al and I.  

No, no,  it was not weird at all. 

(insert eye twitch)

When the conversation came around to the car, I made it clear that when the boy began to drive himself to school, under no circumstances, was I okay with him also driving the little girls to their respective schools, which are both a ring of carpool hell.

 

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He verbalized understanding. 

I've driven with my son a whole lot this summer.  We took a trip away for a weekend and he drove the 2 hours there and back.  He does a great job.  I even practiced with him driving the 2.1 miles from Stanley's driveway to the school parking lot.  I guess he is ready.  So, now he needs a vehicle and I am no less broke than I was 2 months ago.  This is between Stanley and I, financially, Al has his own kids who need transportation.

 So, we've been looking for vehicles for cheap.  Cheap means high mileage.  Stanley wants to buy him a $2500 beater.  I want to spend a little more and hope we can get a few years out of it.  

Then there is his GF.  Who also apparently gets a vote.  In addition, she is a closet mechanic.  

Who knew?  Anyone remember Goober?

  

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 I would like to get her one of those hats for Christmas but she might not think it's funny.

She is all into the beater idea.  The cheaper the better in her opinion.  

So, I've been taking him out to look at 2000 Acuras with 130K miles, and they are taking him to look at Fords with 210K miles.  

 Last week, they took him to look at a 2000 Maxima with 175K miles for $3000.  She comes in to the house when they drop him off to tell me all about it.  She was filthy.  She had been all up under the hood.  Her hands were BLACK.  

 

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She starts talking about the tread on the tires, 'bout a 1/4 inch left', the transmission slipping, and something about the pistons.  Oh, and break pads, something about the break pads! To be honest, I got totally distracted by her big hands covered in black which she was waving all around and getting dangerously close to my Creamy White door trim.  All I could think of was how I was going to have to get the Windex when she left.  

Al said I was staring at her hands and nodding, like this 

 

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So, now she is all into the car thing.  She is advocating for a $2500 Land Rover that a guy has down the street that has 196K miles on it.  I looked them up and they have lots of transmission issues new.   I think she thinks it will be fun to work on it.  Ummmm no.

Stanley was just standing beside her throwing his hands in the air and saying (remember English accent)

"I cahn't think of this anymoh today, my brain is tiahd and I'm ovahwhelmed."

Which is code for 'beer'.  

I started feeling sorry for The Boy.  Just how many people get a say here?  Agreed, I know nothing about cars.  But I know you get what you pay for, I've learned that much in 51 years.  Last night they said they were going to look at the Land Rover again.  I said to Stanley, "Okay keep me posted."  SHE answered, "Okay, WE will."

Granted, I might need a mechanic and for her to take a look under my hood sometime, Yuck, but you know what I mean.  I don't want to make her feel like I don't respect her or appreciate her knowledge, but, he is my kid.  

Eureka.

Thanks everyone for reading, I have processed my shit out and Goober and Stanley can make this decision.  

The Boy likes this vehicle and I'm going to hope for the best.  

 

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