Leaving an abusive relationship? Do you know what not to do?
You will find the tips below useful because if you’re leaving an abusive relationship, common sense may fly out the window and you don’t want to be led by your emotions at this important time.
A healthy relationship between two people encourages recognition, reinforcement, and love. If abuse is present within the relationship, whether it is emotional or physical, then these foundational relationship traits are missing. It can be abundantly stressful and disheartening to plan the end of a marriage or relationship where you have repeatedly been hearing the directive that you’re not important, you have no worth, you are crazy, and you are inadequate.
Below are 10 Things You Shouldn’t Do When Ending An Abusive Relationship
1. Do not think that you are mentally strong enough to follow through on your own. Find a support group and lean on them!
2. Do not hesitate to get a restraining order. This is by far the most important thing you can do. It allows you to empower yourself to take a small step towards becoming strong and protecting yourself and family from abuse. It also gives you protection from the abuser.
3. Do not violate the restraining order once it is granted. Do not contact the abusive party in any way, by email, telephone or in person.
4. Do not engage the abusive party in any way. Do not attempt to communicate with the party if you see him in public.
5. Do not give in. Do not allow the abuser to talk you into allowing him to break the restraining order.
6. Do not forget the reasons why you have the restraining order. Write down every incident that created the unsafe abusive environment that allowed the restraining order to be granted in the first place. Document everything. Try to write down dates, times, who was there, and what happened.
7. Do not look back. Move forward with your life. Gain insight into why this happened. Empower yourself.
8. Do not instigate, in any way, any kind of conflict with the abusive party or family.
9. Do not speak disparagingly about the abusive party in front of your children.
10. Do not allow the abusive party to get off the hook. If charges have been filed do not agree to drop the charges. Do NOT be afraid to hold your abuser legally responsible!
I congratulate you for taking action to end the abusive marriage Move forward and don’t look back. Leaving a relationship that is on rocky ground is one thing, but leaving an abusive relationship is frightening and takes courage. I commend you for having the courage to take action. Please make sure that your safety and the safety of your family comes first during this process.