Do you catch your man in lie after lie? Yet, he easily explains away everything you confront him with? Follow your gut instinct. If things just do not add up, dig a little deeper.
Maybe he stays out all night. You ask him where the hell he’s been, so he says something absurd like, “My truck broke down, but I didn’t call you because I didn’t want to wake you up.” He says this, obviously thinking you’re stupid, because he knows that you tried calling and texting him eleventy-seven times.
Every lie that you’ve let him explain away with lame excuses in the past is why he makes the assumption that you’re stupid. He probably thinks he can make everything okay again with flowers, candy or, in extreme ass kissing measures, jewelry.
Don’t let him talk his way out of repeated lies. If he’s doing things to raise your suspicions in the first place, chances are he’s up to no good.
Ten warning signs that your man may be living a double life:
1. When he’s away from you, he rejects all of your phone calls and ignores all of your texts.
2. He never wants sex and goes to great lengths to avoid being intimate with you.
3. He doesn’t want you to meet his parents because they’re drunks (or some similar excuse).
4. He doesn’t have money to care for his kids even though he works.
5. He no longer wants to eat whenever he’s around you and the kids, using repeated excuses like, “I ate at work” or “I’m not hungry.”
6. Your friends and family keep telling you that he’s no good. He handles it by trying to turn you against them.
7. He suddenly announces that it’s over and he wants everything back that he ever paid for, including engagement and wedding rings. (Very likely because he wants to give the rings to another woman who doesn’t know that he’s married.)
8. He starts demanding that YOU pay for the divorce. (After all, his finances are tied up in wooing the other woman that he is trying to give your ring to.)
9. He’s constantly picking fights with you during the rare times that he takes your calls or sees you. (Don’t take the bait. He’s hoping to make you mad enough that you will throw the rings at him.)
10. He goes from saying he loves you to saying he hates you in one day, treating you noticeably different than he ever has before.
For those of you who don’t live with your man, here’s a huge red flag. I know a woman who has been separated from her husband for over a year. During this time, she was NOT allowed to know where he lived. He met her at Wal-Mart a couple times a month to buy their son ONE pack of diapers (his definition of child support). Turns out that he’s been living with another woman for eight months, using a fake name. (Meanwhile, he was telling his wife that he wanted to get back together with her.) The other woman didn’t know his real name, or that he’s married or that he has a child. Well… she knows now, and he’s suddenly homeless!
For those of you reading this, who have been thinking, “Yes, my man has done all or some of the things that I’ve mentioned,” I have a question for you.
Are you tired of being his doormat?
If you are, then it’s time to take a stand. Don’t take his shit anymore. You are a woman. Remind him of that by letting him hear you roar.
If you’re thinking, “But… I…,” “But… the kids…,” or “But… this or that…,” then you’re not done, yet. You will know when you’re done being shit on by him.
Bottom line: If your man is doing things to make you suspicious, don’t let him lie and sweet talk his way out of it. If common sense tells you something stinks, there’s probably something rotten nearby. Sadly enough, it’s likely to turn out to be your man who is living a double life.
Just remember that you and your children deserve better.
More from DivorcedMoms