“What a silly title. Women date men that intrigue them, regardless of age. This better not be a stupid article about cougars and women just wanting to have fun, so help me god!”
That is my conscious speaking to me, and the voice is palpable. That is because the longstanding cliché is that any rationale for women dating younger men is strictly tied to libido. After all, men do reach their sexual peak between their late teens and early twenties while women reach theirs in their late thirties and early forties.
What other possible reason could exist for women to be dating younger men except to bed someone that is able to meet her at her sexual level? I’m glad you asked because I’d like to share three of them with you right now.
3 Reasons Divorced Women Are Dating Younger Men
1. Energy: Darla got out of a ten-year marriage with Justin, largely because she found him a tad too stagnant for her. While she loved to run by the water, go dancing, take cooking classes and a host of other active things, he was much more content with staying home. Even when they went out together, Dustin would prefer to lay back and watch things happen. Darla could not take it anymore, she felt as though he was holding her back. Now, seven months removed from a boring and sluggish relationship, Darla has put high energy at the top of her list of needs. She has met several men and has found that a majority of those who could meet her at her energy level were younger than her.
2. Social Comforts: Grainne needs to mix and mingle and thus needs someone that will not just go along for the ride but will have fun along the way. When she was married to Joel, it was frustrating because he never wanted to go with her to work functions or happy hours. Sam, who she met right after her divorce, was willing to go to these things though he may as well of stayed home. Sam had a propensity for plopping himself in a chair, speaking only when spoken to and constantly giving her the ‘are we leaving yet?’ eyes. Men, much more so than women, become more introverted as they get older. Women, on the other hand, can very often have a rekindled social appetite. Now, Grainne is dating a man 7 years her junior, largely because he can light her social flame. She can bring him to cocktail parties and game nights with friends and not feel as though she will have to carry the water on the conversational front nor melt away in embarrassment because no one knows how to spark him.
3. Mindset: Erin cannot seem to find a guy that is not either jaded, tainted or angry. Her ex-husband Mack drove her crazy because he would always talk about the negative direction the world was going, how rude today’s kids are and how much his current job blew. They would often argue about this with Erin calling him negative and Mack calling himself realistic. Piling on, he would constantly poke at her for being naïve and ‘in a bubble’. Moving forward, Erin is looking for someone that is neither naïve nor negative. She wants to have dinnertime conversations about the 2016 election and IKEA furniture without feeling like Eeyore or The Donald is on the other side of the table. She has only met two men that fit this need and she hesitated getting into relationships with them because they were too young for her. Now, six weeks removed from rejecting them, she is about to go on a date with someone in the same neighborhood, age-wise. She hasn’t stopped thinking about the direct connection she sees between age and mindset. As she shared it with me, “some people have experience that has made them jaded while others are still happy to be learning as they go.”
There it is, three reasons divorced women date younger men. And yes, sex is a factor but it is hardly the only factor.