Being single moms can be both amazing and challenging all at the same time. Every single mom out there goes through highs and lows raising children on their own so, don’t think that you are alone.
The challenges single moms face cannot be confined to a simple, finite list.
However, below are 4 of the most common single mom challenges and their solutions.
1. Financial Strains
One of the biggest and most obvious challenges that single mom’s face has got to be the financial strains.
Carrying the financial responsibility of a child on your own is most certainly difficult since this financial responsibility is usually shared between two parents. It can also become increasingly difficult if you depend on an ex for financial aid, and they don’t come to the party or hold up their end of the bargain.
Sometimes it’s not possible to control your income, maintenance or child support, but you can control how you allocate and spend it. Reduce your financial stress by getting organized when it comes to your finances.
Meticulous budgeting can help to achieve this. Consult a financial planner or take a course to learn how to best allocate your income to adequately provide for your child.
You also should not feel guilty about not being able to give your child all the material things they would like.At the end of the day, you have an abundance of love to give and you should spoil them with your unconditional love.
2. Lingering Guilt
Regardless of your circumstance, you may be feeling guilty for being a single mom. You may feel guilty for not being able to provide financially for your child, or you may not be able to spend as much time with them as you’d like, or even for putting your child in the situation of being raised by a single mother.
It’s no use to feel guilty and remain angry at yourself or another for being a single mom. If your situation is a result of your own mistake, then own it and learn from it. Staying angry at yourself will only make the situation seem a hundred times worse.
Forgiving yourself is such a liberating thing and at the end of the day, it will make you a better parent. If someone else’s mistake is the reason for being a single parent, then the best thing you can do is forgive. Once again, very liberating and it’ll help you to become a better mom and role model for your children.
3. Fulfilling a Dual-Role
It is difficult to know if you are really doing a great job at parenting. You may question if you are adequately fulfilling the role of two parents all on your own or not. It can lead you to feelings of self-doubt. You may not feel confident about making decisions on your own if you were previously used to sharing deciding power with someone else.
You may even feel as if you’re losing your sense of self and not looking after yourself. How do you cope without someone to tag in when things get tough? How do you go from playing with ride on toys or dolls to being a disciplinarian and a financially savvy head of a household?
Don’t allow yourself to feel inadequate or allow a lack of confidence to overcome you. Believe in yourself and trust that you are capable of being an amazing single parent.
You need to accept the fact that you are a single mom and the confidence will follow. Your children should be your first priority and you should be your second. If you don’t take care of yourself, you won’t be able to take care of your children.
Have a game plan that dictates how you organize your day-to-day. If it means that you need to plan a week’s meals in advance while waiting for your child at soccer practice, then do it! Maximise your time while being there for your kids.
4. Social Isolation
It is very easy to become socially isolated when you become consumed with parenting. Don’t let the mountain of responsibility trap you and prevent you from having any kind of social life. Adult interaction is important for a healthy well-being.
Maintaining an adult friendship or relationship away from your children may be very difficult and you may feel guilty. Add a babysitter to your budget once a month or enlist a close family member to watch the kids for you.
Go out for dinner with a friend or spend an hour in the gym. There are also plenty of other options where you can take your kids along, such as a church group meeting or a play-date with other parents.