Men don’t like emotional responsibility until they’ve become emotionally attached.
Men are peculiar creations. They know what they like and don’t like. The first thing a man notices about you is your looks. If they like your looks, they’ll ask you out. There are things men don’t like about women and, if any of those things come up during the relationship, you can bet they will cause a man to fade away.
I have female friends who share with me their experiences with men and dating. This article isn’t an attempt to excuse a man for fading away or cutting a woman off without explanation. It is, however, an explanation of why they do that.
During your first conversation, that first date, or early on in the relationship, there are a few things women do that will get his radar up and tell him if a woman is worth putting effort into getting to know better.
Below are 4 things that will cause a man to fade away, ghost you and run like hell for the hills.
1. You are needy and desperate.
Men don’t like emotional responsibility until they’ve become emotionally attached. If a man feels like a woman “needs” instead of “wants” him, alarm bells go off and his fear of commitment grows ten-fold. No emotionally healthy man wants to fill a void in your life.
Contrary to what you’ve heard about us, we really aren’t interested in rescuing a woman from her miserable life. We’re interested in meeting and attaching ourselves to women who lead full and happy lives.
We aren’t being childish or immature. We don’t mind strife in a relationship if it’s one we are invested in. Right out of the gate, though, you’re going to push us away if you come on too needy and desperate.
2. You are using him to replace someone else.
No man wants to be a replacement unit for another man. If you’re recently divorced or coming off a long-term relationship you shouldn’t expect any man to be satisfied as your rebound.
Men are very attracted to women who have their life together, who know what they want, have self-confidence, and aren’t afraid to be without a man. If you are looking for a man for the sake of having a man in your life, most men can sense it and they will fade away quickly.
3. You are a drama queen.
Men cannot handle emotions as well as women. A study done by Associate Professor of Psychology Ann Kring found that women are more expressive of their emotions than men. Men hate complex emotions since they don’t know how to deal with them. So, when a woman asks, “Where is this going?” a man will feel a variety of negative emotions he will be unable to deal with.
When a woman gets mad because she’s jealous or says things like “I feel like I like you more than you like me,” men just don’t know what to do or how to respond. They’d rather run away and avoid the drama altogether.
New relationships are for getting to know each other, having fun together and building a bond. If you start measuring every encounter and expecting more than he is ready to give, he isn’t going to hang around and find out if you’re worth it.
4. You are insecure
As a wise mentor once told me, “If you don’t even believe in yourself, why would anyone else?”
If you are secure in who you are, you can’t expect a man to be either. If you need constant validation about your looks, the work you do, how you are raising your children, the food you cook, he will get tired of being your cheerleader.
Nothing is more attractive in either gender than self-esteem and security in who we are as a person. We really have nothing to offer a member of the opposite sex romantically if we don’t have those beliefs in ourselves.
Women are beautiful, us men would be lost without them. Here is the thing to keep in mind and will help in your search for new love…you don’t need us, can do fine without us. Just because you don’t have one doesn’t mean finding a new one should be your main focus. Relationships are so much more rewarding if the immature drama is left out of them. And, you’re a woman, that’s all you need to feel secure about yourself. Live your womanhood loudly and with pride. Do that, and you won’t be able to beat the men off with a stick.