Friends and family can be invaluable when it comes to helping you get through a significant, and emotionally intense life transition such as a divorce. Usually we turn to people such as close friends and family to pour out our hearts to when we are particularly feeling the pain and emptiness that accompanies divorce. However, those who are a part of your network of support can also become weary after a while of constantly listening to you vent your emotions, and unless your trusted friends are trained coaches or therapists, they are often not trained or equipped to offer the effective response that you are seeking and really need at that particular moment in time.
The more you are focused on your divorce, your ex-spouse, and all of the pain and challenges that you are experiencing, the more you are missing out on so many exciting opportunities and ways in which you can actually enjoy your friends while healing. Time spent with friends can mean precious moments of joy, even for a brief period of time. So get a little creative and open yourself up to new possibilities. Consider the following:
1. Immerse. In nature. Enjoy your environment. Get out with your friends and go biking, rock climbing or hiking. Take in your surroundings and appreciate them.There ís beauty in nature that you’ll never find in a relationship, and you’ll be able to start to feel at peace with yourself and your life. Just stay away from places that were special to you and your ex.
2. Exercise. Nothing is better for burning off bad energy and taking your mind off sad things like exercise. It’s also much more fun to work out with friends than working out alone. You stay more motivated; plus it gives you something to do to keep you from dwelling on your current situation. Additionally, you get to tone up your body and help yourself look more enticing to your future partner.
3. Dance. This can really make you feel better. It falls closely in line with exercising but in many ways it’s a lot more fun. There’s music, and people are having fun together. You and your friends can gather around one another, and dancing activates those endorphins that will improve your mood. It’s also entirely possible that you’ll meet someone new while you’re out on the dance floor or having a drink afterwards.
4. Confide. Don’t pour out your soul to everyone you see. Not everyone is aware of, and needs to know what is going on in all aspects of your life. Be conscious of the perceptions that you are creating around others.
5. Plan. Plan an event such as a monthly singles only dinner party. Creating a menu and cooking it will make you feel better. There will be the excitement of cooking those wonderful dishes that you’re so good at. You can try new recipes and this can be even more fun. Nothing is more comforting than hanging out with your friends over a great meal. You can even start this on a rotating basis so that everyone in the group gets a chance to host. Break it up so that the host provides the entrÈe and others make soup, salad, appetizers or side dishes, and dessert. Make it even more fun and turn it into a formal event.
When you start thinking about it, you’ll probably find other ways that your friends can help you through this very difficult time. Just remember to LET your friends be there for you, and also make sure you are there for your friends as well.
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