Bitter, depressing odes to shattered romance have been around since people first put words to music. I say, “Who needs them?” Let’s laugh a little!
1. Stephen Lynch: “Divorce Song”
Either you love or loathe Stephen Lynch, but this funny song mentions drinking and poker. Prime line: “Daddy like porno and $10 whores.” You get the picture. Unfunny people think this is a funny song. So famously dull (except when he’s sending angry texts) Cheaters everywhere should enjoy.
2. Roy Clark: “Thank God and Greyhound”
The lyrics are fairly straightforward in their description of a woman’s poor treatment of the husband. It only gets funny when his thanks are directed toward God and Greyhound. The ethereal and mundane working together to close a bad relationship. “Watchin’ you take the respect out of me. Watchin’ you make a total wreck out of me. That big diesel motor is a-playin’ my song. Thank God and Greyhound, you’re gone.” Man or woman, you have to appreciate the sentiments behind those lyrics.
3. Doyle & Debbie: When You’re Screwing Other Women Think of Me
Have you ever driven by one of those sad, rundown bars on the outskirts of town and wondered what goes on inside? I’ve always wanted to stop and take a peek, but out of fear for my own safety and respect for those who call those places “theirs,” I stay away. This is exactly the type of “done me wrong” music I’d expect to hear inside. Whine, whine, twang, twang! Great for when you are feeling like your life has become a country song.
4. Jimmy Buffet: “The Asshole Song”
A great song if you ever been cut off in traffic or, sat in divorce court across from an asshole. “You were an asshole yesterday, you’re an asshole tonight and I got a feeling you’ll be an asshole the rest of your life.”
5. Lily Allen: “Not Big” (Only if you want REVENGE)
Lily sounds a bit like the nightmare ex but, some men deserve such an ex. She does the one thing every man fears his ex will do; she publicly exposes his sexual inadequacies. She reveals him as occasionally impotent and “premature” and does it all with a smile on her face. This is a song that revenge fantasies are made of. Enjoy but, please don’t go there!