Sex can be the bee’s knees and the wings or it can be a massive tease. That is the short of it and we’ve all been on both sides. Historically, however, women have been on the wrong side of sex more than men, especially from an enjoyment perspective. The reasons generally come down to key character traits that men either demonstrate or do not.
There are several qualities that women want in a sex partner but these 5 are the biggest, even if they are often absent.
1. Unselfish: First and foremost, women want and need men that are unselfish. An unselfish man will worry about her satisfaction more than he worries about his own. An unselfish man will think about the physical, in addition to the intellectual and emotional. Unselfish men do not enjoy the experience unless their partner has gotten their fill as well.
Jenny has been dating Adam for three months and she already tires of sex with him, largely because she rarely orgasms. Adam does his thing, rolls over and falls asleep. Worse yet, Adam is indifferent to this uneven level of enjoyment. Or perhaps he’ unaware, speaking of…
2. Awareness: Women want men that are aware in the bedroom because an aware man will know what works for her and what doesn’t. He will understand her verbal and physical cues. Her G-spot will not be a constant mystery to him. A man that is aware will know if she has orgasmed.
Arlene wants to help Latrell help her and help their sex life which, as of today, is as bleak as Donald Trump’s chances of winning a sensitivity contest. But does Latrell know that biting her ears does nothing for Arlene and, frankly, hurts her and takes her out of the mood? Right now, she is looking for an easel and some magic markers so that she can pinpoint exactly where her magic spots are. This is not something that a woman with an aware man would need to do.
3. Diversity: Having sex with a man that is diverse will ensure that the physical experience will be diverse as well. Who wants vanilla sex when the alternative is foreplay, multiple positions, toys and everything in between?
Kara loves her time with Chris because she never knows when and where they are going to do it. She just knows that when he strokes the back of her neck with his left hand, his right hand will likely be unbuttoning her blouse. They will then do it standing up before finishing it in a nice figure eight. Boring is not an adjective used to describe a diverse sexual partner.
4. Passionate: A strong man will manhandle her, respectfully of course. An unselfish man will make sure she gets hers. An aware man will not lose sight of what does it for her. But, a passionate man brings energy, excitement and unbridled enthusiasm that makes her feel wanted and livens up an already strong connection. Said a different way, when someone is passionate, the entire PIE (physical, emotional and intellectual) comes out for consumption.
Marla loves Derek’s passionate side because he brings forth an energy that is undeniable. He is verbose, active, hands all over, charismatic and attentive to her well beyond the physical. As Marla describes it, Derek’s passion oozes so much that it can often compensate for potential performance issues, speaking of…
5. Durable: Of course, durability is a desirable trait and yet it is the most elusive and complicated. I wrote an article titled “Performance Issues: It’s the Thought and Touch That Counts” . It was all about the reality of durability issues and things men can do to salvage a physical relationship when they arise. Awareness and diversity in the bedroom were the biggest aspects and I meant every word in that article. But damn do women wish this were a more prevalent trait, especially given that it is hard to find men that have the others in their toolbox.