Don’t do it, just don’t. Following your ex on Facebook, bad idea!
Following your ex on Facebook? Admit it, doing so doesn’t exactly promote happiness and peace of mind does it. So, stop!
Here are 5 reasons you should follow your ex on Facebook.
1. “Comparison is the thief of joy.” Theodore Roosevelt.
Many times, I have smiled about the simplest joys of life such as my reliable car, for example. Yet, when I happen to glance across the parking lot and spy that brand-new Mercedes or that shiny BMW I feel a twinge of pain. Jealousy. Comparison is a thief, for sure. How often do we find ourselves comparing our own lives to those on social media? The reality is, we never really know what transpires behind those custom-made, Mahogany, closed doors. We don’t ever see those tears that may fall after that smiling photograph image was taken. Go ahead and recall the life that you once lived with your ex. I promise you, not much has changed. Stay away from his social media feed or you just may find yourself unfairly comparing his “featured highs” to your “mundane” life.
2. “The grass is greener where you water it.” Neil Barringham.
The time we spend admiring what others have is the time we waste. While you may be working hard to improve your credit score, securing a savings account, or adding to the kids’ college funds, many of those extravagant vacation pics and weekend getaways shared online …are paid with close-to-maxed-out-credit-cards! Stay focused on your grass. We can work hard and change our lives if we choose to put the effort in. Nothing worth having comes easily, so pull up your bootstraps and dig in. Water your own grass and don’t walk on your ex’s lawn. When in doubt remember the other well-known saying about green grass, “The grass is greener on the other side because it is fertilized with bullsh*t!” Skip his Snapchat.
3. “Loose lips sink (relation)ships.”
You may be like me in the sense that I have no shame when it comes to social media sharing. I know that whatever I post online I am not embarrassed to say to my boss, my mother, or my grandmother. That is just my stubborn, Irish personality. Having said that, we must also remember that the friends of our exes may be eager to overshare or embellish details. Our exes themselves may also misinterpret facts, which may create unnecessary drama. How many times have you misread the tone of a text message or incorrectly emphasized one wrong word? Put your dukes down and take a breath. Keep communication with your ex-husband clear and to the point especially when children are involved. Forget his Facebook.
4. “There ain’t no future in the past.” Vince Gill
The past is gone. We build upon our lives with knowledge by using our past experiences to make better choices for our futures. Consider the fact that you may be delaying your own healing by peeping the photos and posts of your ex (see #1). Serenity comes when we are no longer interested in the realities of our past partners. Live and let live. Remember that a new beginning is always preceded by an ending. Ta-ta to his Twitter!
5. “You become what you focus on. You become like the people you surround yourself with. Whatever you think about, whatever you study, whatever your brain is filled with… determines what your life will turn out like.” John Spence.
Scrolling through your ex’s social media feed will not promote any new life inspiration. We find hope and motivation when we focus on our loved ones, our children, our friends, and ourselves above all and not your ex.
Instead of stalking your ex on Facebook, make a list of goals you’d like to obtain, desires, future vacation locations, skills, hobbies, and dreams. Pick the top 5 to begin working toward. Start small whether this includes putting $5 into a savings account today or activating an internet search for a cooking class in your area. Your energy will flow where we focus. Choose wisely.