So, you’ve done everything you need to get your dating profile ready for the world. You’ve touched up and perfected your bio, you’ve taken the perfect selfies, and you might even have a couple of matches already lined up to start chatting with; but then comes the biggest obstacle of them all; what are you supposed to say?
Easily the most difficult part of online dating is figuring out what to say, which can be a lot different to face-to-face conversations because it’s through a screen, and hey, what are you supposed to say?
Today, we’re going to be taking a look into everything you need to know to help kickstart your online dating conversations.
1. Start Strong
It’s a well-known fact that sending a traditional and bland ‘hey’ or ‘hi’ is not the best way to start a conversation online and will probably end up getting your messages ignored. This is because, unlike in real life, you have information you can work with from their profile, so give it a spin.
“Start off with something nice, like ‘hey, how are you?’, or say hello in another language, and then including something from their profile. Don’t be too forward, aggressively flirty, or too complimentary, it just doesn’t seem to work” explains Danny Mac, a relationship blogger at Writemyx and 1Day2Write.
2. Use Profile Information
Not sure on what to say? There’s a whole load of information on the person you’re speaking too in their profile, so read it and show that you’re interested in them. Of course, this will depend on what’s written there, but feel free to ask a question about something, or say how amazing something is that they’ve done or how you’d love to do that thing.
3. Write Complete Messages
Writing single, one-sentence messages with not a lot of detail isn’t going to grab anyone’s attention and it’s certainly not going to get an interesting and engaging reply that you’re going to want to respond to.
Instead, don’t be afraid to hold back. In the past, I’ve sent messages that have breached the dating app word-limit twice and managed to get an interesting and detailed response back which really helps to drive the conversation forward.
“This is great for so many reasons because not only is there a ton of stuff for you to talk about, it also shows you’re proactive and willing to have a conversation to actually get to know the person, rather than just mindlessly wasting time and chatting” shares Jack Harper, a lifestyle writer and editor for Britstudent and Australia2write.
4. Be Personable and Concise
You’re both on a dating website, so there’s no real reason to hold back and not say what you think. Saying lines like ‘your profile made me smile’, ‘reading your profile, I think we’d get on really well’, or even something like ‘I think we’d make a really great pair’, is a great way to start. After all, you both swiped to match with each other.
Also, make sure you’re writing proper sentences and using proper grammar to talk. Talking in broken sentences with typos and mistakes can put people off.
5. Be Yourself
People are going to want to date you because they like your personality, so you need to make sure you’re showcasing this in your messages! This relates directly to every point we’ve listed above, and you need to make sure you’re not generic, and you’re actually yourself.
Of course, this is much more difficult than if you were talking in person because you’re using written words which can sometimes be hard to show emotion and feeling in what you’re saying, but if you don’t know, then this is never going to happen.
Talk about books or movies you like, talk about your profile pictures, talk about your passions and interests. Talk about your neighborhood whatever you want that represents you.
As you can see, there are lots of things to think about when it comes to writing your first messages on your dating app. Remember, just be yourself and the person you are, because if you’re not, the relationship is never going to work anyway. The right person who clicks will come along in time!