Heartbreak is the worst thing to happen to anyone as it leaves you in a million pieces. Yet, life demands that you pick up these pieces, plaster on a smile, and move forward with your chin up and head held high.
Often, women allow our careers to take a back seat while dealing with an emotional crisis. What we fail to realize is that the relationships we are moping about are already closed chapters in our life. At the same time, our identities and careers are an important part of our present and future. Yet, we choose to let ourselves go.
In this post we discuss, why your career is a determining part of your personality, and how to keep it afloat amidst personal tribulations.
5 Ways To Keep Divorce From Ruining Your Career
1. Open Up to Your Friends
There are some times and moments in life when your friends turn into your counselors, parents, partners, cushions, and so much more. There are certain emotions that women experience that only other women are capable of understanding.
Divorces are hard. Don’t make things more difficult by completely shutting yourself out. You will do maximum harm to yourself by building a wall around yourself. Call your female friends and talk to them. Pour your heart out. You will feel better and achieve clarity when you speak to your trusted friends about what you’re going through.
Build a strong support system for yourself. It’s not easy to get back on your feet after a divorce, but when you do open up, you’ll realize that even though love may have gone from one part of your life, much love, affection and friendship can still exist for you in other chapters of your life.
2. Don’t Discuss Divorce at Work
The rule of thumb in workplace interactions is to keep dealings extremely impersonal. While boundaries can get blurred when you are spending long hours with male colleagues at work, this is a time when you should be extra careful.
Grapevine and office gossip is underestimated. They can be damaging to your career, so be careful while interacting with members of the opposite sex at work.
Talks of your divorce can not only sap your energy and affect your work performance but also negatively affect the efficiency of your co-workers. The workplace is where you’re expected to talk shop and you cannot let your personal woes override that.
Additionally, not everyone may sympathize with you. Some might talk behind your back, spread rumors, and there might be others who can feel uncomfortable when you start talking about your personal life.
It is best to be a thorough professional in such a situation. Further, it will do you much good to divert your mind away from your circumstance and fully engage in other activities.
3. Channel Your Pent up Anger in the Right Direction
There’s bound to be a lot of anger and frustration involved in every divorce, particularly if your ex-husband hasn’t been forthcoming. In most cases, this frustration surfaces in the most harmful ways where you pick a fight with your colleague or boss without any reason, or just stop attending work, and then go down the career hell hole.
However, this need not be the case. You can take your career to great heights by channeling this anger and frustration into your work.
Pour yourself in your work completely and perform your best. Turn your work into your healer and a means of catharsis. Soon, you will feel the negativity gradually slipping out of you, leaving you more positive, calmer, and professionally successful.
4. Be Careful with Your Money
Don’t let your finances go haywire during this trying stage of life. Retail therapy may give you temporary healing, but will only bring you much pain and heartache in the long term.
Divorce proceedings can involve litigation, child support, and many other expenses. On top of that, if you decide to spend mindlessly, you’re sure to set yourself up for some major financial disasters. Further, it is best to not depend on your ex-husband for alimony and other monetary support.
Do remember that you will have a life after you are divorced, and you will need money to live well. Spend your money judicially keeping your long-term financial interests in mind. Saving and budgeting are a big part of living well. Save enough money so that you are able to do most things you want to do comfortably after the legal proceedings are over.
5. Don’t Get Romantically Involved at Work
Divorce can leave you feeling vulnerable and hurt. You can end up confiding in a male colleague you trust, and before you know it he can become your shoulder to cry on, which could lead to a romantic involvement.
Office romance comes with its share of complications and entanglements. These become manifold when you get involved with someone just after a divorce. More often than not, people do so when they are in a state of rebound. However, the last thing you should be considering during a divorce is dating someone, especially someone from work.
If the relationship does not work out (and in most cases it doesn’t), you will be jeopardizing your relationship and career. So steer clear of these complications.
The above measures can help you sail better during your divorce proceedings and protect your career. Have faith in life and love, and make sure you close this chapter of your life with dignity and grace, and look forward to great success and new beginnings, professionally and personally.
Dorothy J. McMichen is one of the founders and family law and divorce attorney at McMichen, Cinami, & Demps, PLLC., based out of Orlando, FL. She is an expert in resolving legal matters related to child custody, divorce and other family law issues. McMichen and her group have abundant knowledge and ability to get the best results for their clients in such cases.