There is always a sense of guilt when you divorce. If there isn’t, then you should have never married in the first place and made the commitment that comes along with marriage. Regardless of religious values, family values, personal dreams or an extreme sense of love, loyalty and commitment, sometimes enough is really enough in a marriage.
Below are 6 no guilt reasons to get a divorce
1. He has fallen in love with someone else
Marriage is tough enough when two people are madly in love. If he’s chosen another, and not willing to either address the reasons he cheated, end his affair and continues to lie, hide or disrespect, it is time to divorce without guilt.
2. He is abusive
Whether he is pushing and hitting you or yelling and screaming at you, do not ever subject yourself to an abusive relationship. There are legal or physical separations to permit time for counseling before filing for divorce, but never think staying and being his punching bag will save your marriage. In addition to the detriment to your personal emotional and physical health, you are enabling a dangerous behavior that could ultimately hurt others. Never feel guilty for divorcing when abuse is involved.
3. He has an issue with addiction
Whether alcohol, drugs, porn or gambling, many marriages are destroyed by addiction. Addiction can be dangerous, financially destructive, emotionally draining and lead to a life of insecurity, fear, and volatility. A marriage competing with addiction cannot survive. You can’t compete, you can’t fix it. Do not feel guilty for getting a divorce when addiction is an issue.
4. There is financial insecurity
Couples make decisions all the time for one parent or the other to stay home with the children or pursue a career path that may be in the 5-year plan instead of the tomorrow plan, but you must be on the same page financially. You must have a joint financial plan, be very aware of where the family money is coming from, where any separate accounts are maintained, how marital debt is being managed and what the path to financial security is for your family.
If someone is attempting to maintain separate accounts or control the finances without being willing to share the information there may be a problem. If either party is spending without the knowledge and agreement of the other, you may be on a path to financial insecurity. If he isn’t willing to earn a living or otherwise contribute financially for the benefit of the family, do not feel guilty about getting divorced.
5. He is impotent in more ways than one
While “impotence” implies a sexual problem, social impotence is so much more of an issue. He doesn’t want to participate in family functions; he hates and complains about the children’s school events and activities; date nights are not common and social occasions with others don’t exist. Why share your life with someone who essentially wants to share nothing? Do not feel guilty divorcing someone who would clearly rather be alone.
6. He refuses to change
No one should marry thinking every day is love and roses, smiles and hugs. Marriage is tough and worth every hardship when the love is authentic and you are both “all – in.” There are times when there will be 50/50 contribution or 90/10 by each spouse due to life’s circumstances. Married couples should always be unselfish enough to handle marriage stressors and compromise.
These moments should be short and few and far between. If you are constantly carrying the burden of the relationship – emotionally, financially, socially or otherwise, you are likely tired, emotionally strained and financially drained. Sometimes, enough is enough and you may be better off alone. Don’t feel guilty for divorcing when there’s no promise for change in a draining marriage.