To get over your ex is never easy. However, you need to do it as soon as possible – and in a healthy manner – in order to move on, continue living your life, and be even happier in the future.
It’s easy to get stuck in the past, wondering what went wrong, going over old arguments and imagining a different outcome, blaming yourself, judging him, and feeling bad all over again.
This is not only preventing you from living your life in the present moment, it’s actually bad for your mental health, decreases your confidence and ruins the chance of meeting another person you can have a meaningful relationship with.
To avoid the negative consequences of a break-up, and get over your ex, do the following:
Learn the lessons.
The only reason to look back is to learn from the past and use that experience to never make the same mistakes. Luckily, this is also therapeutic and can lead to closure.
So when you’re analyzing situations from the past with your ex or when the problems you had pop up in your mind and upset you once again, see what went wrong and try to find out why.
These are the things you wouldn’t want to experience with your next partner in life so it’s good to be prepared. If you feel that your relationship ended for a reason, don’t fixate yourself on how to get your ex back, but imagine what you want to bring to a new relationship which is waiting for you when you will be truly ready for that.
Chances are you’re surrounded by things reminding you of your ex. Moving on won’t happen unless you get rid of them.
If you have common friends, that will be a challenge. But still, make sure you don’t hang out with the same people so you don’t constantly fear your ex will show up from somewhere and it will be awkward.
If you have belongings that have sentimental value, eliminate them. Sell or donate each thing and realize you don’t need it. Material possessions only need to be taken care of and take up space. Free yourself from that burden and make room for something new and better.
Cutting off contact on social media can also be a good idea, as you definitely wouldn’t wanna be reminded of your ex or know exactly how life after you looks like for him/her from his updates.
Don’t isolate yourself.
Isolation is a bad way to spend the first few days, weeks or even months after a break-up. It’s even bad for your health.
Rely on your best friends and family for support and spend as much time with them as possible. Go to parties, do activities together in the day, and be open to meeting new people along the way too.
That’s a healthy distraction and it won’t lead to depression, which is what isolation causes.
Create a new vision for your future.
You don’t know where you’ll be 5 or 10 years from now, but you do have an idea of where you’d like to be. So far, that picture most probably included your ex. But it’s time for a change. If you don’t update your vision, you end up living in an illusion and being miserable.
It’s time to set some new goals and have a new direction in life. Write down where you see yourself some time from now and describe this picture in details. Don’t be afraid to aim high.
This exercise will help you realize you’re strong enough without your ex and that many good things are waiting for you in the future.
Fix your relationship with yourself.
Take care of yourself by doing things you love, waking up early and having a morning routine, relaxing in the evening, eating good food, sleeping enough, reading great books, learning a new skill, etc.
Don’t forget to look yourself in the mirror and tell yourself that everything is okay. Forgive yourself for how things ended with your ex and let go of that, it’s not part of who you are.
Boost your confidence by working out, changing your appearance a bit, working on your body language, overcoming shyness by introducing yourself to new people, and exceeding your career aspirations.
Make some me time every day. Spend time alone and love every second of it. That’s also the sort of freedom you don’t always have in a relationship.
Re-find yourself and the single life by traveling alone if you want to, visit new places in your city, write, learn a foreign language, take up a new sport, get in shape and change the way even you see yourself.
Over time, progress but also mindfulness and happiness will become the foundation of each day of your life. There won’t be any room for regrets or doubts.
You’ll be satisfied with your new lifestyle, will feel good about yourself and comfortable in your skin.
All that is enough to help you get over your ex.
Last but not least, don’t give up on meeting the right person, don’t ignore those interested in you, don’t wait long till you get out there again.
Open a dating app and check out who’s there, initiate conversations and get to know people before you go on a date.
No expectations this time. You aren’t going to use them as a rebound, you just want to have fun, meet people or have company for activities such as walking in the park, eating out, watching a movie, etc.
Each relationship that ends marks the beginning of a whole new era for both people in it. Be happy about that and make the most of each day, knowing you don’t need anyone else to feel complete or contented. However, if you feel like meeting that special someone already, don’t hide at home or wait for a specific period of time just because it makes sense. Do what feels right and do it now.