January divorce, It’s not exactly the most cheerful way to ring in the new year.
For years, January has unofficially been dubbed Divorce Month. Although a study from the University of Washington found that the most divorces actually happen in August and March, the courts still see a spike in divorce filings right after the new year.
Many legal experts believe that the reason for this trend boils down to one idea: People don’t want to get divorced during the holidays. If couples, especially those with children, have started to consider divorce before the holidays, they make a point of staying married through the end of the year so their family can have one last holiday season together before they split.
Watch out for these signs that your marriage is headed for a January divorce.
In most divorces, one spouse is caught off guard by the delivery of divorce papers. That is why it pays, to pay attention to warning signs your marriage may be riddled with problems that could cause you to end up in divorce court.
Getting comfortable with the status quo and taking things for granted is one of the biggest mistakes married couples make
1. You No Longer, Have Anything in Common
Do you and your partner spend hours together under the same roof, at social engagements or performing routine errands, yet rarely engage in meaningful conversation? Living in silence is a primary symptom of major marital problems.
Communicating and sharing your day, thoughts and feelings creates a bond between spouses. If you are noticing a lot of silence, put some effort into filling that void. Or visit a therapist to help you figure out why you no longer have a desire to communicate with your spouse.
2. You Can Do No Right
Do you feel like your every action is being watched and criticized by your partner? Can you do no right in their eyes? Do you feel intimidated or afraid because of your partner’s constant criticism? Too often partners will funnel larger relationship issues into negative criticism of day-to-day tasks.
Sit your spouse down and openly discuss what those larger issues may possibly be. Tackling and finding solutions to the larger problems in the marriage will help you both feel more secure in your roles.
It’s also possible that you’ve married someone who needs to be in control. A control freak has to have things done their way which can cause them to chronically complain. If this is the situation, you may be better off divorced.
3. You Are the Last to Know
Is your partner no longer sharing information with you about his career, personal problems or personal achievements? Is your partner sharing this information with a friend and you hear it second hand?
When you become the last to know important information there has been a huge breakdown in communication. Or a breakdown in the emotional bond that promotes sharing in marriage.
You both have to be willing to communicate but, great marital communication can begin with one. Give it a try!
4. A Change in Appearance
Over time, your comfort level will inevitably end that desire to look “perfect” for every encounter with your partner. However, a drastic decline in personal appearance and hygiene by your spouse could be a sign they no longer care or they are taking you and the marriage for granted.
If your spouse has begun to let their physical appearance go, gently discuss the problem and let them know you appreciate them and feel respected when they look their best.
5. Looking for Distractions from the Problems
If the television is on constantly, you both sit with your face buried in a book or you always have something else that needs to be done there may be a problem.
It is common for individuals to find such distractions to avoid dealing with a troubled marriage. If you don’t take you heads out of the sand, you will find yourself facing each other in divorce court. And, that isn’t a situation television or a book can distract you from.
6. Arguing over the Same Subject Repeatedly
If your arguments become routine with all the same issues and no resolution, then your marriage is either standing still or dying fast. You’re in a cycle of conflict instead of problem-solving.
You may need the assistance of a professional counselor to help find solutions to the problems that don’t seem to go away. Running in circles or creating a destructive cycle is a sure fire way to kill a marriage.
7. Intimacy Is a Thing of the Past
A considerable decline in physical affection is one of the most recognized symptoms of a failing relationship. Intimacy is the act that allows us to bond as husband and wife.
If your partner is showing no or very little interest in intimacy with you then they are showing little concern for their emotional bond with you as a husband/wife.
Or, there is a problem in the marriage that is keeping them from being able to feel intimately bonded to you. Lack of intimacy in a marriage is an issue that definitely should be investigated!