I work a lot, an awful lot. I’ve been working an awful lot for years. Recently I’ve noticed something. I no longer get invitations to go out with girlfriends. Heck, I no longer get invitations to hang with family. Why? Because they are all used to be using work as an excuse for not participating in anything other than work.
In other words, I need to get something other than a work life. I need to get a real life!
I think it isn’t uncommon for us single moms to build our lives around our children and our need to keep from drowning financially. Being hypervigilant in taking care of our children and getting our bills paid can also be a good excuse for not having a life.
If you’ve been hurt, let down and disappointed by life, building a wall around yourself protects you from being hurt and disappointed again. Live like that long enough and you’ll find that safe cocoon you’ve wrapped yourself in will begin to cause you to feel just as much emotional pain as real life can at times.
If these 8 signs describe you, it’s seriously time to start second guessing why you don’t have a life and putting effort into getting a life.
1. You spend your weekends binge-watching Netflix.
The highlight of your weekend is binge watching Netflix and eating takeout. You tell yourself you’re easy to make happy but, the reality is Netflix on the weekend is all you have going on.
2. Instagram depresses you.
You constantly feel pangs of envy when looking at people’s Instagram feeds. Is everyone in the world having more fun than you are? Answer: No, they’re just better at faking it. You eventually follow nothing but puppies, kittens, and National Geographic so you aren’t constantly reminded that you can’t even fake a real life.
3. You haven’t been laid in months, maybe even years.
You sleep in a bed with your laptop, your dog and a pile of books and magazines. Nothing says “I’m not getting laid as much as I’d like” than a bunch of crap taking the place of where a man’s body should be. “Um, this area is reserved for my celibacy. Please stay away. Thank you!”
4. You live vicariously through others.
You’re a spectator watching how other people spend their time. You’re constantly talking about what other people are doing or have planned because you’re doing nothing and planning nothing. You keep up with the “Joneses” but you have no motivation to join the “Joneses.” You’re in a crowd of busy people but, all alone.
5. You chat with more people online than in real life.
You belong to support groups, quilting groups, maybe even a book club but, they are all online. When you aren’t at work, the only people you talk to are via a $1,500 laptop you take to be with you every night. The Internet allows you to say whatever you want to whoever you want. It’s your safety shield, your way to connect with others without every really connecting. It isn’t real life, though, only a crutch because maybe real life scares you?
6. You’re always doing stuff for other people.
You won’t take a nice long bath, buy yourself a new outfit, go out drinking with the girls or for dinner with a close friend. And the reason is that your time is consumed by doing things for other people, maybe it’s your kids or maybe you’re just a good friend who others can rely on for favors. Whatever the reason, you spend most of your time putting other’s needs first which happens to be a great way of not having to admit you have needs of your own. While you’re busy helping others you may help yourself right out of a life of your own.
7. You’re afraid to try new things.
You’re already stuck in your ways and you’re a young woman. How is that possible? You go to the same deli and the same restaurant each week because you like the food there. You have the same daily routine of a run in the morning then work then chores then something else that’s boring.
Stop playing it safe. Life is way too boring if you stay inside the secure confines of your comfort zone. You might just give your life a bit more gusto by finding something you never knew you had a passion for if you start trying out a few new things. You only get one life, make sure you make the most of it that you can.
8. You’ve turned into a negative Nelly.
All you can seem to do if find something to complain about. What is she wearing that? Why does he talk so loud? You’re not a whole lot of fun to be around and, most of the time your mood is so sour you don’t feel like leaving the house.
The thing is if you had a life of your own you wouldn’t be complaining so much about other people. If you had a life you wouldn’t be staying at home with your Netflix for company when your friends ask you to go out.