I don’t care if you’ve been together for 20 years or 20 minutes, eventually your sex life will fall into a pattern. You know what works when you’ve got only a few minutes, and you know the signal that says, “Don’t even think about it.” If you’ve got kids, there will be times you’ll forget what sex feels like.
It happens to all of us. When you find your sex life becoming a little stale and boring, and you want to bring sexy back, try these eight ways to spice things up in the bedroom.
1. Toys aren’t just for your kids.
Maybe walking into an adult toy store is a little too risque for you. That’s okay, you can buy vibrators on Amazon these days. Do a little online window shopping, read a few reviews, and find a toy or two that looks interesting. The excitement of finding the discretely wrapped package by the front door when you get home will only be outweighed by the excitement of trying it out later that night.
This is right up there with purchasing a sex toy, but experimenting in the bedroom can be anything. Read something hot on your Kindle last night? Maybe a little bondage, some spanking? Talk to your partner about it and then try it out. And anything you don’t know how to do can be found in a few minutes with a quick Google search. Bow chicka wow wow.
3. Take it out of the bedroom.
To spice things up in the bedroom, you might want to bring the sexy fun out of the bedroom. Sex on the kitchen counter? A burning fireplace and soft rug? It’s time to bring some of those fantasies to life. Pro tip: Make sure you’re positive there’s no way a child or anyone else might walk in on you.
Sexting isn’t just for the younger crowd.
You can be as tame or wild as you want to be. A few dirty texts about wanting to see him naked? A selfie of you in sexy lingerie or nothing at all? Get dirty or keep it light, but either way, you’ll both feel the heat by the end of the day. Tip: Warn your spouse about pictures you might send while they’re at work. No need to let his co-workers see your goods in a staff meeting because he didn’t know to be discreet.
4. Try a new role.
Role play can be as wild as your imagination will allow. School teacher/naughty student, cop and robbers, pirate and the captive – the sky’s the limit here. You might feel silly at first, but if you’re able to let yourself go, you may discover all kinds of new things about each other.
5. New positions can be fun.
We all have the tried and true positions we love – doggy, missionary, bent over the edge of the bed (that can’t just be me, right?). Try something new to make your sex life sizzle even more. If your body can bend that way and all parts still fit, it’s a position. Reverse cowgirl, scissors, girl on top, you name it, there’s a new position to try.
6. Don’t be afraid to laugh.
Let’s face it. Weird things and noises happen during sex. There’s no better combination than sex and laughter. It breaks tension, it draws you closer together, and best of all, it acknowledges that sex is a lot of fun. When one of you makes a weird noise, laugh it off and keep going. Your sex life will thank you for it.
7. Talk to one another.
I don’t just mean dirty talk, although that’s fun in the bedroom, too. Communicate with each other, open and honestly without fear of judgment. Tell your partner what you like and what you don’t like. Share the things you’re curious about. You may just be surprised at how much you have in common and how far you’re willing to take your experimentation. Tip: If you have a partner who ridicules your sexual desires, you have a bigger problem than a lackluster sex life. Don’t be ashamed of what turns you on, as long as your desire is based on consensual acts.
8. Don’t feel like you have to try everything at once. Pick one and go from there.
Sex is supposed to be fun. It’s a way to relax, connect, become more intimate, and grow closer with your partner. When you fall into a rut, you’ve got plenty of options to spice things up in the bedroom.