We all know people make mistakes, though most don’t mind the consequences, just as long as they’re happy. I’ve seen it, I’ve done it; it’s a poison in our society; no one seems to know the true meaning of loyalty, commitment, and sacrifice these days.
Marriage rates are going down and divorce rates are “moving on up to the east side.” People act like a divorce is a “break-up.” Um, no, that’s a sophomoric attitude about a serious subject. Divorce shatters people, it drives families apart, and it destroys the value of the family unit in our society. It is becoming a tradition to get divorced instead of married nowadays. You haven’t arrived until you have one “under your belt.” Really!
Our kids are being taught that it is OK to walk out on a marriage and turn their backs on their children’s foundation just because their parents did. Adults are setting a bad example!
Below are a handful of things to think about before ending your marriage and hurting your children:
1. Children. You need to think of your children. Ask yourself, Am I happy? Are my children happy? Has my spouse hurt me physically? Has my spouse harmed my children? Is it just boredom on my part? Some marital problems can’t be fixed, and some can; it’s all about motivation. Was it really worth getting married to someone if you were unhappy with them in the beginning? Why even have children with someone you don’t even see yourself growing old with?
If you married due to love and had children, you owe your children the chance to grow up in an intact family.
2. You. Why would you put yourself through this devastating experience if there’s a chance to save your marriage? He is the same person you married. People don’t change, people just learn to pretend. I mean, if it’s an abusive relationships, no questions asked, get out of it. If it is a low conflict relationship, ask yourself a lot of questions before putting yourself through a divorce.
3. Learn to Forgive/Forget. Most people have a zero tolerance policy on big secrets, cheating, what have you, but people go through a lot during their lifetime, there’s a lot of temptation out there. I’m not saying its okay to “go for it” even though you’ve got a wife and kids at home, but what I’m saying is, you need to think about what can be done to fix the problem, resolve the secret, and get some closure. Divorce will only make you wonder, make you feel like you can never trust again, but talk it out, sleep on it, if you feel like a betrayal was too devastating to forgive, take some time apart. A trial separation maybe, but leave some time in between the beginning and calling it quits.
4. Everyone deserves a second chance. One screw up doesn’t have to mean the end of a marriage.
Life is full of tests, and if you can make the right decisions about your marriage, all the pain and misery will eventually pay off. Marriage is a pretty sacred thing, not meant to be toyed with, so for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, watch your wedding tape, remind yourself of what of the vows you took and take a step back and think before filing for a divorce.