With effort and faith, you will find your happiness again.
No matter how difficult your relationship was, a divorce is always devastating. You wonder what happened to all the vows you took together. You wonder what went wrong. It was supposed to be perfect, but it turned out to be a disaster. It was supposed to last—yet it ended.
Remorse, regret, grief, guilt—one experiences a lethal mix of emotions after a divorce. People will tell you it is not the end, rather a new beginning. Fogged with distress, it’s difficult to see that way. Deep down, however, you know you have to come out of this dark place. You know you have to move on. But you don’t feel the energy to do it, to do anything at all.
There is one thing you need to know—it is normal to feel that way. An experience as traumatic as a divorce can direly influence one’s mental and physical health. It drains your energy and takes away your willpower. You feel no control over yourself or your life.
You are not alone. Many have made their way out of a similar situation. You too shall make it.
You might need help with your depression after divorce and here it is.
Let Your Loved Ones In
There is no harm in asking for help. While people around you care about you, not everyone realizes what they need to do to help a grieving friend or family number. They will try to give you some room until you let them in. It helps to let them in. Share your grief with someone who would listen. Listen to what they have to say in your support. When you talk to people about your troubles, you don’t feel lonely. When you realize how your grief can affect the people who care about you, you attempt to get over that grief.
However, opening to the people you know is not always easy. A therapist can help you see things more clearly, and from a positive perspective. Do not hesitate to find all the support you need.
Talk Nicely to Your Self
Focus on the conversations you have in your head. Probably, there is a lot of self-blaming involved. Do not let that happen. Do not take all the blame on yourself. Try to think of what went wrong from your ex’s end. Think of all the things they could’ve done better. Think of how they could’ve prevented the situation. Try to think of all the ways you try to make it work. Don’t burden yourself with the regret of not doing more than you should have. Making a relationship work is a mutual relationship and the blame should never fall on one person.
You can also make a journal to write all your thoughts down. Once you are done, read and see whether they are negative or positive. Try to counter the negative ones with positive explanations.
Set New Goals
A relationship should never be the primary focus of your life. It is something that goes parallel to other goals. With divorce, your life takes a detour and your previous goals might seem unachievable, but it doesn’t mean you should move forward with no goals. You need to get back on your feet, and for that, you need a new plan, a new strategy, and new goals.
Your goals shouldn’t be limited to financial ones. Go for something as simple as reading a certain number of new books in one month. Set a goal to meet at least two old friends every week. You can always have fitness related goals as they prove to be powerful motivators.
Be More Physical Active
Traumas can take a toll on your physical health and fitness, but you can’t let it get the best of you. Your physical and psychological health go hand in hand. Depression can make you let go of yourself and being out of shape will further fuel your depression. Focus on getting fit and you will see how a positive change in your physique can bring a positive change in your life. When you feel good about your body, you feel good about your life in general.
There are many stories of women who found stress relief in fitness after their divorce. After all, we all like to look in the mirror and admire the person who looks back. Not to mention, fit and healthy lifestyle require a certain routine. A routine, in turn, makes life seem back on track.
Everyone experiences grief after divorce. Depression and stress are among common consequences of such traumas. While it is normal, it is important to drag yourself out of that dark place. There is a lot you can do to get out of depression. There is plenty of help available; all you need to do is ask. Yes, you can contact mental health counselors using a telemedicine app if needed. With effort and faith, you will find your happiness again.