I was with my husband for 14 years before the day I told him I didn’t love him anymore. I defined myself by my role in that relationship for so long that I had no idea how to begin to separate from it. Finally, after more than 2 years of divorce court hell orchestrated by a vindictive ex and a custody battle that brought me to my knees, I’m ready to share what I’ve learned so that you don’t have to make the same mistakes that I did. I was naive and unprepared and it cost me almost everything.
The war he waged was personal, vindictive, harmful to me and our child, unnecessarily expensive, and clearly designed to break me. And yet…here I am. Smarter. Wiser. Tougher. Fearless. Except for clowns. Seriously, fuck all clowns. I can’t even deal!
Despite my crippling clown phobia, I am making profound personal progress that could not have occurred without the soul-crushing hardships I’ve endured these last few years. I’ve got a tattoo on my left rib that says, “Without struggle, there is no progress.” When I got it, I had no idea what struggles lay ahead of me, but the idea that my character was strengthening with every heartbreak endured, was of small comfort at the time. I’m a better person today, more forgiving and loving towards myself. I’m a better, more present and attentive mother. I also hope I’m on my way to being a better writer with an authentic and compelling story to tell. Stay tuned…