If it’s nothing more than locking yourself in the bathroom for a funny blue facial mask, you deserve to carve out some YOU time!
As moms, we put great effort into making our children a priority. As divorced moms, we feel even greater pressure to make sure they are adjusting, thriving and handling their new life reality. Being the only adult in the home means all the responsibility and parenting issues fall on you to deal with. There is no one around to help you ‘tag out’, or take over for a minute while you clear your head.
It is quite easy, and even normal, to feel overwhelmed and underprepared to parent. Some days all we want to do is run away for a bit, cut off the phone and not make one more decision. Unfortunately, just having that thought fills us with guilt, and not only do we resist the temptation, we don’t even believe we should express it out loud. Well, I’m here to figuratively say. WE NEED A BREAK!
No one, at any age or station in life, can be expected to operate a peak performance without some downtime. Athletes train and push their limits, but they also know when to rest their bodies. Scholars study and cram to fulfill their educational needs, but recognize the brain needs time to reboot. Even those pursuing a passion will work diligently on their dream, but understand exciting ideas and inspiration comes from a fresh heart and rested soul. The same is true with you and your new, unexpected and maybe even chaotic new normal.
How does one resolve the internal conflict and conquer the guilt? And what are the best ideas for renewing your mind and gathering strength? Let’s take a took.
Below are 3 Reasons It’s Important To Enjoy Some You Time
1. Do It For The Kids. It’s true, you know. Of course, taking a break will absolutely be good for you, but in the long run, whatever is good for you, will benefit the children. They need their mom at the top of her game and ready to take on the world; their world. They need you to be motivated and refreshed and able to stand in the gap for them.
2. Do It To Because You Value Yourself. It is common after going through a divorce to question your place and value in the world. The mistakes and stumbles haunt us and doubt often creeps in and put a screeching halt to any progress we think we have made. Stop listening to the whispering fears. You are a strong, intelligent and beautiful woman with a grand future ahead. There may be scars, and lessons learned, but you must believe in your extreme worth to this world and take the steps to preserve and protect your emotional and physical health.
3. Do It For Your Heart. Just as our vehicles need consistent and reliable maintenance to keep running effectively for years, so does your heart. You may think right now that your heart is irreparably damaged, but that is so not true. Do not close it off. Of course, you may not be ready for romance, but keep your heart open and available to heal, grow and be responsive to new people (friends) and experiences (hobbies/passions). Being emotionally accessible is a sign of growth and self-awareness. The long-term benefit of making sure you have “you time” activities is having more to attract and offer a potential partner in your future.
How To Find Time For You Time
1. Enlist Help. As adults, we sometimes have a hard time asking for help. We think we should be able to handle everything on our own, but the reality is, we all need assistance from time to time. I am sure you have been there for others when they needed you, so now it is your turn. It doesn’t have to be an entire day, even a few hours of alone time can provide long-lasting benefits. Have someone watch the kids; take them to a movie, arrange a sleepover with friends, or a trip to Grandma’s house. You can even hire a babysitter for an afternoon or evening. The point is, find someone trustworthy to safely care for the children so you can focus on yourself.
2. The Rest Is Up To You! Once you have given yourself permission and arranged for more you time, the sky is the limit; literally. Do whatever makes your heart smile. Maybe you want to sleep in for three hours, interrupted. Or a spa day might just be what the doctor ordered. Take a girlfriend and go shopping or out to eat at a place with no kids menu. You can use this time to start a new hobby or reclaim an old one. Maybe you want to take a long drive out in the country and take in the fresh air. It is possible that you just want a hot bubble bath, a glass of wine and a book. Or even a good cry; which has proven to have physical and emotional benefits.
Some women find comfort in order, so this time can be used to reorganize the kitchen, living room or garage. Others may want to get dressed up and hit the town for a night of dancing, music or to see a play. There are no wrong answers here. This is YOUR time. You know how best to recharge and reconnect with your soul. Do it with passion and without guilt. Pursue yourself, relentlessly.
I know, the time will pass quickly. Soon you will be back home with the children handling homework, bills, and laundry, but hopefully now with a different perspective. Your steps will be a little lighter and your smile a little brighter. I also understand that a few hours away will not alleviate all the problems and struggles. Life is still there when you get back and issues will await your input, but with a renewed mind and a refreshed heart, the burdens should not seem quite as overwhelming. Believe in yourself and know that you can handle whatever life hands you.