I sat in the cold straight-back love seat in the waiting room at the doctor’s office and watched the clock on my phone tick by. It was lunch time, noon to be exact. The grey quality of the room was mind numbing. I couldn’t think or see anything around me but clouds.
I should have been at lunch in the staff lounge at school. I should have been laughing with the other teachers and snacking on the Cheetos that inevitably were sitting on the island in the kitchenette. But I wasn’t in the staff room.
I was sitting in the doctor’s office, waiting to see why sex hurt so badly with Husband. Now that I knew there had been an affair, I was terrified and alone, and playing “Name the STD” in my head.
There was no one by my side this morning. Alone.
This was the seat I sat in with Husband when I was pregnant with each of my two baby boys. We were once together and creating a family of our very own in this very spot. It was a happy place. But now this was the seat I sat in isolation, waiting to hear why I hurt, watching my family fall apart as the minutes passed by. Happiness was a distant memory.
Luckily, Dr. Sale said she would see me during her lunch break. I had to tell the receptionist about the affair in order to be seen today. There was really no room in the schedule, but the doctor skipped her lunch for me. Thank God.
When my name was called, I rose and walked like a zombie to the back room. I still couldn’t comprehend what was happening to me. How could Husband have thrown away our family for some fun sex? How could he do that to me after ten years? How could he throw away our kids so easily? What did he think was going to happen?
The nurse walked in.
“Hi Stephanie. How are you holding up?” she asked.
“Okay. Thanks for getting me in.”
“What are you going to do about that husband of yours?”
“He is gone. I told him to collect his stuff and find somewhere else to sleep.”
I was numb. What could I say? The office twisted and turned and spun as I sat on the cold exam table. The doctor walked in and I undressed. Naked, cold, and uncomfortable the STD screen proceeded. I walked out of the doctor’s office alone and sad. I headed to a half renovated house where my kids waited for me. No Husband walked through the door that night.
Back at Work….
I had no idea how I would be able to face a room full of eight year old children given the circumstances of the affair replaying before my eyes again and again. How was I going to be able to teach? But, I had meetings all day for the next two days, so I could postpone the inevitable. To be honest, those meetings were a blessing from God.
As I marched toward the beige portable in the back of the school on the hill, I knew nothing related to teaching could or would be accomplished. But, I brought my laptop with me any way and prayed for the best.
I walked in late, with a Starbucks coffee in my hand; no girl could face such a day without one, rest assured. I sat, dumb founded and alone but surrounded by friends and coworkers. I never knew you could be alone but surrounded by people at the same time.
Fortunately, I pretty much have the best coworkers in the history of the world. The teachers at my school presented me with wine for later, chocolate, cards, and munchies for the day ahead. What better way to combat the most screwed up situation of you life than with alcohol and lots of sugar?
Immediately we embarked on Facebook stalking Rachel for the rest of the morning before our meetings began. We found her name, first and last, her location, and a picture by the end of the morning. We even enlisted the help of Scott, the husband of a coworker, to do some detective work and get to the bottom of my newest scandal. He proved to be of much help.
My head was spinning and reeling with emotion when I first saw her picture. So I sent it to Husband.
He confirmed it was her by a “Sorry. 🙁 ” text back.
I honestly wanted to chop off my husband’s balls and send them to Rachel’s husband on a platter. Too bad I couldn’t figure out who he was.
Did I mention that Rachel was also married with kids? It’s true. And she was screwing my husband. How was I supposed to live like this? How could I go on?