There are moments in any woman’s life that test her strength and her will to live. There are days and situations that seem like they would break her, beat her down, and see if she would rise again; the week that I found out about my husband’s affair was this way for me. I found out what I was made of when I became a single mom and dealt my new STD. But little did I know, my week from hell was about to get worse. Much worse.
Alone I sat on the changing table in the doctor’s office. Alone I stared at the wall. A lone tear dripped down my cheek and splattered on the the shirt on my chest; by myself.
The room was quiet and sterile. Nobody was coming in or out for quite some time. I heard laughing echoing in the halls, and the doctor was in the next room with another patient. I waited some more. The crinkle of the paper under me crunched when I shifted my weight.
Finally, the footsteps were outside my door and the doctor and nurse were peeking in. Why were they making me wait? The door closed with a bang and I glanced up. I was dressed and ready to go home.
The doctor walked over, pushed her rolling grey round stool in front of me, sat down and placed her soft hand on my knee. She leaned in and said, “You are pregnant.”
“What?” I cried. “How could this be? I had an IUD.”
“You are pregnant. Remember when I asked you to pee in a cup after the ultrasound for the IUD? The test said you were pregnant.”
The room cracked in half. I couldn’t see straight. This just got worse. I cannot believe it. My life got worse. This couldn’t possibly be true. I thought. I was in a haze.
I couldn’t believe my ears. The chances of pregnancy with an IUD are so small, so insignificant. How did this happen? Only 0.02% of women get pregnant while on an IUD and I was one of them. And I was married, had chlamydia, and Husband had been kicked out of the house two days prior because of the affair and Rachel.
Tears poured down my cheeks in buckets now. I had cried over the affair, I was furious about the STD, but now to find out that I would be a mom OF THREE on my own was unbearable. Broken. The only word to describe it was broken. This week had taken its tole.
How could I do this on my own? Husband might have to move back. What choice did I have? Raising two boys on my own was going to be hard enough but adding another one to the mix would be next to impossible. I could not believe my f*ed up situation just got worse. How did it get worse?
I must have done something really bad in a past life. Husband was the only person I had ever been with. We had been together for ten long years, and I had never had sex with anyone else. Yet, here I was: single, sick, and now pregnant.
My shoulders collapsed. My head hurt. I was still sitting by myself in the office because my mom was with the kids, Husband was not aware of the doctor’s visit, and I didn’t bother to contact friends about getting an IUD removed. But now. it was a pregnancy, I was isolated and trapped.
The howls and moans from my room could be heard throughout the doctor’s office. My worst nightmare had come true.