My life really is so much better since I divorced Ted, even with the hell he has drug me through and back. One thing I hate about divorce, though, is being away from my kids when they are sick and it is not my parenting time. I am a healthcare provider to my very core. When we were married, I was always the one to get up with them in the middle of the night, always the one to get up with them when they were sick as babies. Ted refused because he worked 40 hours a week and I “only” worked part time at the hospital.
Thanksgiving was Ted’s holiday this year. On Friday morning, I woke up to this text from Kristy:
Sorry I didn’t call you back last night. I have a good excuse…We were at Uncle John’s for Thanksgiving and I didn’t feel so good. I kept saying “dad I want to go I’m hot and don’t feel good” and he told me to just lay down. So I layed down next to dad and was falling asleep and all of a sudden puke just flies out of my mouth everywhere. As I am running to the bathroom I am leaving a trail and I finally made it to the toilet. I didn’t have time to turn on the light and got puke all over the shower curtain, and was covered head to toe. I had turkey chunks on my new pink bow, mom. It got all over the house and dad, and I made everyone have the worst Thanksgiving. The one person out of everyone who talked to me was Uncle Don, he said “don’t cry” and hugged me and said “everyone still loves you just as much, it’s not your fault.” Everyone else was just getting their shoes on and staring at me like I was a freak.
Ok, I have to admit, my first reaction was laughter and “heh, Happy Thanksgiving asswipe”… but then I reached the end of the text to learn the only person who comforted her was her great uncle. Ted comes from a very large immediate family. Add extended family and gatherings approach 30 people.
Ya….my thoughts exactly. But this is nothing new.
One family member who sees my daughter maybe twice a year comforted her, not her own father. I decided I had two choices here. I could go all “mama bear” or I could take the high road.
It was a tough decision.
I began texting her stories of when I vomited in a restaurant when I was little, and then in high school down two flights of stairs on my way to the nurses office. I needed to lift her up at that moment, not create more drama. I received “lol” several times.
While Super Daddy Ted was still all tucked in bed, I coached Kristy through what to try to eat and drink when she was ready. A few hours later, I texted her for an update. She originally told me Ted promised to get her a sports drink or clear soda in the morning, then changed his story to “water” being the best drink to consume while ill. Through gritted teeth, mumbling under my breath what a cheap ass he is and wondering what the hell child support is for, I said nothing but support and coach her through more food and drink choices.
I just can’t help but wish I had a video of the great Thanksgiving of 2013.