I am a poster child for dysfunctional relationships, but I am here to declare it IS possible to find a good man after a lifetime of choosing bad ones. I am in the FIRST REAL AND GOOD RELATIONSHIP OF MY LIFE, and I am in my forties. So, if you are struggling and afraid of jumping in or never finding your fish, don’t lose hope.
Dane and I met on an online game site with chat rooms. Many people meet in the oddest of places, and an online chat room is definitely an odd place. When you can’t see what people look like, it’s easy to see Brad Paisley’s “Cooler Online” come to life. You learn real quick to read through stories, and Dane and I became friends quickly, sharing the same wit in seeing through the bigger than life stories of people playing from their parent’s basements.
Neither of us thought we would meet anyone to have a real relationship there. We were both running from horrible relationships, and basically hiding from the real world for a little while. We just happened to be hiding out in the same place.
We were friends for a year before dating, and have now been dating more than 2 years. We share very similar personalities and pasts, for being almost 10 years apart. We love the same things, and think the best date is just hanging around the farm doing things together.
I will never forget one night around his birthday. I was at the farm, it was a cold November night and we were prepping to go outside. He plopped a camo hat on my head, clicked on the light that turns on from the bill of the hat, and smoothed the ear covers down over my hair. I was dressed in heavy sweatshirts, my long brown barn coat and Muck boots he bought me. We had spent the day around the farm, so I didn’t have a stitch of make up on. He looked at me and said in his low sexy country boy drawl “You look like a sexy little Elmer Fudd.” I think that is the sexiest thing anyone has ever said to me.
He loves our relationship because he doesn’t feel like he has to be “on” or in constant entertainment mode. He feels like he can be himself. I am thankful for a man who loves children, and is respectful and thoughtful. We hate the distance, but he reassures me often not to think about it too much, that this will pass. Dane is a family person, and sometimes talks to my mom much more than I do. I adore Bradley, his son, and he is amazing with Grant and Kristy. Kristy sometimes feels closer to him than her dad because they share the same interests and work ethic. Plus, Dane shows Kristy he likes spending time with her and involves her in doing things with him on the farm. Ted rarely shows interest in Kristy, and when he does, she doesn’t feel it is honest. Ted is jealous of Kristy’s love for the farm, and tries to keep the kids from going there as much as possible.
What Dane and I have is real and honest. It is not magical or overflowing with romance and flowers and unicorns. It is REAL and sometimes it is tough, especially being almost 450 miles apart and sometimes going long stretches with nothing but phone calls and texts.
I finally get to see Dane for the first time in 2 months on Valentine’s Day weekend. I can’t wait. We will be going to a cattle show, Bass Pro Shops and out for a big steak dinner with our 3 kids. I know this lifestyle isn’t for everyone, but I can’t think of a better way to spend Valentine’s weekend.
My wish for every single mom out there who hopes to find real love some day is not to lose hope. It took me a very long time to find my perfect match, and I thank God every day for him. I found him in an odd place….SO…. keep your mind wide open. You just might meet the love of your life in the least likely place.