When it comes to the great (that was sarcasm, Sheldon) world of social media, it is the fastest tool to connect people, be it loved ones or those who need to broadcast a message of hate. Often, it is many things to those who use it. It is a way for many to get the attention they need and feed off of. It is a way to get people of like interests together, and in some instances, hope to make change in some form.
The latter is the only reason I use social media. It is the easiest way to learn and reach out to those going through high conflict divorces and parental alienation. I am forced to live in a world where drama is created out of nothing and using social media for personal reasons only leads to more drama. I am sorry, but the path of my life has eliminated my patience for attention seekers, including those in my own family.
Now back to my point. On Facebook, I am a member of many groups aimed at making a difference in family courts by bringing awareness to parental alienation and parents forced to co-parent with those exhibiting narcissistic traits.
In one group, a heated discussion started about parental alienation. An administrator of this group posted a message, asking parents to remember parental alienation is “not a mothers or fathers issue, but a children’s rights issue to have and love both parents.” A follower disagreed that it is the alienator’s fault and the kids are the byproduct. He went on to state if PAS is not addressed at the source, there will continue to be a growing number of victims. I agree with both.
The administrator’s rebuttal, however, lost me on the last sentence. He chose to end with “Your kids need parents not grown up kids throwing temper tantrums with each other.”
You may be saying “Well, yes, that is very true.” And it is….in cases where the other parent is capable of co-parenting. “Temper tantrums” do not last over six years without some degree of mental illness in the parent constantly having the tantrums.
What do you do when the capability of co-parenting does not exist? What do you do when constant drama, twisting of facts, loopholes and further emotional damage are created? At what point will the broken system realize when you feed the monster it only gets larger?
There are so very many questions with very few real answers. The only answers I find over and over are showing our children unconditional love while trying our hardest to keep them out of the middle…especially when dealing with parental alienation.
Taking or creating sides within groups designed to come together and help each other are just for lack of better word, stupid. It shows the true mentality of the members. Education, acceptance, and having enough of an open mind to realize everyone has a different story are a must for the success of any online group looking to make a difference.
Decisions need to be about the kids first but also in sticking with boundaries, guidelines and court orders the exes will continually try to bulldoze.
I am determined to keep looking for groups and those determined to make change without taking sides. I will unfollow groups that evolve to just drama, blaming the other sex, bickering and “victims” looking for attention. Honestly, I am ready to unfollow most, as they all seem to have evolved into drama pits.
I am planning on investigating and researching Conscious Co-Parenting Institute. Dorcy not only lived through parental alienation, but is now a divorced parent. Do any of you have experience with conscious co-parenting or know of (truly helpful) other avenues to further investigate?