A friend of mine treated me to a movie last night. We went to see Star Trek Into Darkness. I love the new Star Trek movies.
Halfway into the movie, Spock (Zachary Quinto) discusses his thoughts of his own death using the words: anger, confusion, loneliness, and fear. These four words can describe what is felt during the divorce process as well.
Anger Anger is the emotion that gets us moving. It’s the kick in the pants that rises out of our hurt. It is the shield we put in place to protect us from harm.
Confusion We are filled with confusion whether we are the one leaving or the one who has been left. Are we making the right choice? How could this happen to us (again, in my case)? What is wrong with me? Our brains have a million questions and our emotions are a jumble.
Loneliness The isolation and detachment we feel by not belonging is our loneliness. We feel completely cut off from our former lives and our couples-oriented society. It is our invisible dining partner at our table for one.
Fear Our fear of the unknown is crippling. The future is uncertain and we want answers to our questions right away. Why did he/she leave? Will our kids be OK? How will I take care of them if I can’t take care of myself? Where will the money come from? Where will I live? Who will ever love me after they see what a loser I am? What am I supposed to do next? Will the pain ever end?
Understanding that these four emotions are running rampant throughout the divorce process will help with healing. We’re supposed to feel these things. It’s normal. Everyone goes through these emotions. And the big one…we are not alone.
I also learned that green chicks get the most action.