I’m not divorced from Husband #2 yet but that doesn’t stop me from finding ways to heal from our impending split. One of the ways I’m working through the tough times is to step outside of my own pain for a while…by helping others in a time of need.
There are no shortages of opportunities to help another in worse pain. My divorce support group had a lost puppy of a man embroiled in a court case. Helping him was easy. All I had to do was sit in our classroom and listen to him share his woes. A kind word or two provided a lifeline for him to cling to once a week. It was nice to have the whole class supporting him in his emotional and financial struggles.
I went out on a limb and helped another person one on one. This woman needed help, wanted help, but didn’t know how to ask for it and definitely didn’t know what she needed specifically. It was hard to speak with her about her situation and figure out the best way to offer up my support. So I remained calm and collected as she floundered and attempted to reconnect with her when she surfaced from her despair.
I wanted to fix her and make her life better, that’s just who I am. But I don’t have that kind of power, nor do I want to try to fix people anymore. It’s not my job to point out someone’s shortcomings or find a way to rescue them. What I can do is just to listen and hug.
It’s not easy helping others when you’re also hurting. Sometimes seeing that there are worse things in the world than rejection and divorce help to lessen the pain, if only just a little bit.