I’ll let you in on a little secret. When it’s quiet on the blog, you can bet I’m wrestling with something big…This month has been no exception.
I was prepared to fire out 4 blog articles all dealing with building trust and goodwill between Husband #2 and me, but my world was rocked with a new issue.
About 10 days ago, I found out that a family member stole from me. A full confession was made and there was remorse expressed…along with the statement “Don’t take it personally. This has nothing to do with you. It is my problem.”
The thing is, that statement hasn’t lessened the impact for me.
To give an analogy from my perspective, it is as if I had a pet hamster that I loved. I trusted my family member not to harm my little pet but later found out that my relative had killed my hamster. “I’m not a small rodent person. I have a tendency to kill small rodents. It’s a personal flaw but I don’t want you to take it personally. It’s about me, not you.”
It’s hard not to take things personally. There are some actions that hit you where you live and undermine trust in that person. It’s especially rough when the relative doesn’t want to hear about how you miss the hamster, what the betrayal felt like, or how it changed you.
And after all is said and done, I no longer have a pet hamster.
Sometimes “sorry” isn’t enough.
That’s what I’ve been wrestling with…how to trust someone close to me after a betrayal.
Thank you, Internet! A simple search on rebuilding trust produced loads of information about what can be done to rebuild a bridge between two people: The betrayer and the betrayed. While this article from WikiHow doesn’t apply 100% to my situation (it deals with infidelity) the points are spot on and valid.
One of the biggest factors in healing is having the betrayer involved in the healing process for the betrayed. I can see how this would be incredibly helpful.
So, yes, I will still post about the steps I’ve been taking to grow good feelings with Husband #2. I just need a little bit of time to pull myself together after another life surprise.
And life goes on…