It’s Labor Day and I think I’ll go for a drive in the country. I enjoy riding around with the windows open and the radio blaring. I’ll most likely choose a few back country roads to avoid the highway traffic. Plus it gives me a chance to see the barn swallow families dipping and diving over the soy bean fields.
I love watching the graceful flight of the barn swallow. It’s a beautiful bird, whipping and weaving its way through the sky, swooping down to skim over the tips of the plants in the field. Even though working to gather food, the effort is beautiful.
Diving, twisting, turning….
The swallow‘s hard work looks effortless. Does it feel easy for the bird? It could be that the barn swallow feels the same way about its daily work that we do about our daily work…something to accomplish so we can live another day. Maybe the acrobatic flight is not filled with joy for the bird, but necessary for survival.
It’s how I look upon my own “transformation”. Should I call it that? Transformation? Am I moving from one state of being to another? Is it more of a refinement, a remodel, a renovation? Taking what is already there and knocking off the rough edges, sanding down the scratches, putting a fine finish on an old piece of furniture? After all, I’m still the same person inside, the one with the same childhood, the same past experiences, the same failed marriages… Only now I’m a woman with a different view of the world and different coping skills.
As I navigate this divorce emotional battleground, dipping and weaving, jumping and zagging to avoid pitfalls, do others see my movements as the graceful flight of a barn swallow?
From in here, I feel more like a flying penguin.