Continuing my perusal of the Restoration Hardware catalog, I found this funny quote from Oscar Wilde:
I like men who have a future and women who have a past.
~ Oscar Wilde
Oscar may have enjoyed his women’s pasts but not every man is that secure. I recently read an article on The Rules Revisited titled What Men Think About Your Sexual History. It turns out that men what someone who’s sexually confident and adventurous and can please them…as long as she hasn’t slept with anyone else.
Husband #2 was the only man I’ve been with who asked me for a specific number of my past sexual partners. Luckily I was smart enough not to tell him…or anyone else. It doesn’t matter if my number of past partners is low or high, what would it help to tell him? Nothing.
At the time, Husband #2 was comparing himself to men in my past. He knew about Husband #1 and a very serious college boyfriend I would have probably married if things worked out. Both of these men contributed to who I am today, but giving an actual number of men? Well, in my estimation it would have deflated his ego…even if that number was 2.
Instead, I remained silent on the matter. Not completely silent. I told Husband #2 that I don’t compare past lovers to each other. Because I don’t. Each man is different and each man has good and bad parts to him. Comparison would have been unfair and unkind.
After all of that, I felt the most comfortable sexually with Husband #2. We had a great sex life. With him I could ask for what I wanted, make suggestions, and not giggle too much while talking about it.