Once Husband #2 moved out I found myself with a lot of free time on my hands. I was no longer wrapped up in his small business, which previously dominated our lives 24/7. I was essentially unemployed and unencumbered. The only thing I had to deal with was me.
I’ve heard this phrase a lot, “work on yourself”. What exactly does this mean? What should I be doing to work on myself?
I dove right in to cleaning out the house. I tornadoed my way through each room removing vestiges of our home-based business. A dumpster sat in the driveway for over a week and left completely jammed full of stuff I no longer wished to have around. Once I removed the business from my life, I found space. Glorious space. Our little house never felt so huge, so complete, so clean, so uncluttered. I realized I had been buried by Husband #2’s dream. Now I felt lighter, happier.
The second Working on Me project was exercising on a regular basis. After years of sitting at a computer desk, fitness was not high on my priority list. Now I had the time to improve my health. This one is a huge deal for me and you can read more about my Breakup Diet here.
The third project was my emotional health. I looked up everything I could find about loss, grief, happiness, survival. I was determined to find out what I did wrong, figure out what I did right, and know the difference. I wanted to be better. I wanted to find the Me who had slowly disappeared. I wanted to be happy again. I wanted to reconnect with my core being. This one will inspire many future post topics, I’m sure.
When you’re separated you no longer have the pressure of the spouse’s scrutiny bearing down on you. You can take a breath and relax without someone else watching your every move. The time apart from him gives you time to focus on yourself.