There’s a saying that I despise, No good deed goes unpunished. It’s simply not true. Two weeks ago I felt that communication between The Genius and me had deteriorated to such a degree that we needed professional help to get things back on track.
Let’s talk to Dr. K.
It took a bit of prodding, but we booked a session and it was punishing. My aim was to calmly communicate my concerns about some co-parenting issues and get professional guidance as to whether or not my concerns were valid, and then try to come to an understanding with some guidelines about our co-parenting arrangement. I was shut down by The Genius at sentence five as I attempted to express my feelings. I was wrong on all accounts, there was a reason for everything, and I’m a bad housekeeper.
Hence, it was a long day. I’m processing like Twitter’s backroom. You know what the results of that will be when I post tomorrow night. Forgive me for this short entry. I went all out today to remain centered and try to shed the stress. For the most part it was a success. There’s was lots of play with the boys, a trip to the library, laundry, grocery shopping, dog food pick-up and even a 40 minute swim for me. If not for that swim, I would have churned way too hard and burned out my motor. It had a much more positive impact on me than the session, that’s indisputable.
I’ll get through this, and all the upheaval that is sure to continue. I know that. But I expect more. I almost bailed on a date with Mr. Delicious to head in to the city for Fleet Week. I’m a plane geek. Specifically super fast fighter jets and stealth bombers. I detest why they were designed, but I revere them nonetheless. I wanted to go, but after today’s session I just felt like cocooning. But then I realized that I felt that way because being around The Genius makes me want to shut down. Not just for him, but in general.
I can’t honor that. That’s not who I am. I expect more. I’m alive. I love Fleet Week – the ships, the planes, the water, seeing the route I swam from Alcatraz. As if that’s not enough, I get to spend the day taking in all those sights with a really nice guy who’s just beautiful, and sweet. Someone I want to get to know better.
I’m really hoping to do it without dark circles under my eyes.
This tuckered out girl, physically and emotionally, is going to finish some chores and get some beauty sleep. I will be back at the keys tomorrow night. Between now and then? Well, you know that not a moment goes by that I’m not fully in this thing. Thank you for being in here with me.