The vermin that infected the little dude has now taken up residence in the taller dude. When he gets hit he falls longer and harder. So, a full post will be delayed till the morrow. For now, this is what I’m pondering…
Authenticity. While I’m watching the fog roll in over the hills to the west tonight, I ask myself a question I’ve asked many times over the last several weeks. Am I being really true to myself? Am I being honest with myself? Am I being authentic? That last one – I’m not even sure I know what that means. I suppose that’s why I never answer the question and it keeps being asked.
I’m so grateful the fog has returned, and not a moment too soon. I need its wet embrace before I head east. That’s the backbone of my plans right now. Flimsy at best. Basically I have no idea where I’m going. But I know what I need to accomplish. I need to swim daily. 1-2 miles. I am so stoked to do this because I am sensing that the meditative opportunities are going to be huge. And I have to answer those questions. Am I being authentic? Am I walking past wants and going to needs? Am I being honest with what I need to do right now even if it doesn’t look fun, or shiny, or feel great all the time? This week alone is the Vision Quest I need. So big pats on the back for going it solo. I’m heading in with questions and aiming to come out with answers.
I’m also pondering the idea that needs, similar to boundaries, are not about what we need from another or the outside world at large, but what we need from ourselves. MPLP has some brilliant words that have me pondering madly. (Her comment is near the bottom on this post.) Especially these: “The molecules say that if you resonate with grace, compassion, forgiveness and peace, you will only be able to attract someone of the same vibration.” I have several other traits I’d like to add to that sentence.
So my needs will come from what I want to attract, not what I need from another. It feels really good to be starting from there. Please feel free to weigh in as I change cold compresses. It sucks to be sick, but aren’t kids so cute when they’re under the weather? All snuggly and…needy?
A full post tomorrow, pending nothing bat-crazy happens. Thank you for your patience. Follow me on twitter – see sidebar – for updates, epiphanies, pictures of the gluten-free bread I’m going to bake tomorrow…thank you.