You are young. Please listen to what I have to say; you need to understand a few things. To make it easy, I will put it in list format:
1. I do not want him back.
2. Your position is not set in stone. Your husband left me with 3 kids, and a huge mortgage after almost 20 years together. Your child has no more cemented you into that position, than mine did for me. Once a cheater, always a cheater.
3. There is history that came before you. I cannot be erased; I exist. If there is a problem, I call, he comes running. If you do not like that, you should have found a man who is your own age, without the baggage of an ex wife and 3 children.
4. Your child is not more important than mine because she is newer. Please see #2.
5. Do not attempt to intervene in things that have nothing to do with you. End of story.
6. Do not attempt to get in the way of my communication with my ex-husband. Please see #1.
7. Do not make large parenting decisions for my children. While in your care, please keep them safe. Please do not return them to me with tattoos, piercings or t-shirts with marijuana leaves ( telling me that they are stylish). If you have any question as to whether or not I would approve; ask me. Karma is a bitch.
8. Please run a brush through my daughter’s hair, and make sure that she is clean. She is in your care. She needs to be clean, and she needs to be safe.
9. Be their friend, not their mother. They already have one of those. We can never have too many friends, but we can only have one mom. They will like you better if they do not feel that you are trying to challenge me.
10. I don’t hate you; I want to collaborate with you, and anyone else who crosses paths with my children. They are my life. Please see #1.
The First Wife